Thought the novelty of sharing a room may have worn off a bit by now, but bedtimes are a nightmare!

[Pinkchampagne]

Since having to share a bedroom, my boys seem to think bedtime is party time, and it is really starting to wear me down.

I try to put DS2 up half an hour before DS1, but that doesn't seem to help. He either stays awake, or he is woken by DS1.

The boys go up at 7 & 7.30pm & 2 hours later they are still jumping about upstairs.

I have just been up to try to quiten down DS2, to find he has pulled out the contents of his bottom drawer, and he was out of bed.
This kind of thing is happening frequently, although I didn't have major bedtime problems when they used to have their own rooms.

I can't threaten to separate them as I only have a two bedroom house & they would see sleeping in my bed as a treat.

I really don't know what to do. I am getting pretty desperate now!

[Pinkchampagne]

Anyone have any ideas?

[PartyClown]

This is exactly what's happened with my two youngest sons. They were great at first, but since the beginning of summer, they are JUST like yours,no matter how tired they are.

I have no help to offer, as I gave in and make one or the other sleep in the spare room. It's so frustrating, but no matter what I do, or how I punish them (no TV next day, etc.) they are so wired it means nothing.

I even tried standing at the door till they fell asleep, but i couldn't do it every evening.

[Pinkchampagne]

Good to hear I am not alone here!

I don't have a spare bedroom that I can put one of them in, but if I could separate them I would as DS1 needs to get himself up for school in the mornings.

I thought at first that it was just the novelty of sharing a room, but it's been over a month now & there's no improvement.

[BaffledByBabyTights]

I am SO going to be watching this thread - my 2 ds's are JUST the same - been sharing for a month now and OMG!!!! DH went in last night to find DS1 sitting in bed with the main bedroom light on playing at 1 am whilst DS2 was trying to sleep..... they've been up at 5 am every day since they've been sharing, but like you Pinkers, I have no choice! I spoke to a friend today about it who has 2 that share, and she said it was heavy going for a while but after a couple of months (gulp) they settled down and now can't go to sleep without each other.

[Pinkchampagne]

Sorry you are going through the same nightmare! It is very draining isn't it?

I heard DS2 say to DS1 "Let's have a Mr Men party!" when DS1 went up to bed. (They have a Mr Men story CD with songs on)
They really think of bedtime as one big party atm!

They have bunk beds, but they climb into each others bunk & jump around.

We were in a 4 bedroom house, where they had their own rooms & there was never a problem at bedtime, but I am now on my own with them in a 2 bedroom house. It is just a nightmare & it's wearing me down.

[JiminyCricket]

I'm new to this as well, but so far so good..I think mine might be littler than yours though? dd2 moved in with dd1, who was already well established with staying in her bed (she likes to have her door wide open and we close it a little bit for every time she gets out of bed). DD2 thought having a bed instead of a cot was great and got out to play at every opportunity. Meanwhile dd1 finds it great fun to encourage baby sister to get out of bed, so that she doesn't get into trouble herself. We use the rapid return thing (no eye contact, no talking - except first time a stern 'its sleep time now' - just pick them up and plonk them back in bed). They find it funny at first but they eventually tire of it. We invested a few half hours on the landing and so far so good after a few nights of that. I think returning them to bed quick and without being angry is quite key. Then rewards in the morning if either of them has stayed in bed all night. Also, recently after they've had books and been tucked up, we've started reading a little bit of a 'non-picture' book (currently Alice in Wonderland) to them. it sort of makes them snuggly and settled down and they've even started falling asleep while we read sometimes. It'll never last...good luck!

[Pinkchampagne]

It is reassuring to know I'm not alone with this problem!

I keep going up to them, but they are so hyper, and even if they go quieter while I'm in the room, I hear them giggling within seconds of getting downstairs & this can continue for up to two hours.
After 5 weeks of this, I am feeling drained to say the least!

[Pinkchampagne]

They are fast asleep now & should now stay that way until morning, when I will be struggling to wake them!

[pointydog]

One month probably isn't that long seeing as they used to have separate rooms. How old are they?

Have you set a staged routine such as 7.30 bed, reading with light on for half an hour, lights out quiet chat only after that? Do you have some story-only cds (no songs!)

My dds have always shared a room and occasionally they are still chatting till 10 but as long as they are in bed and quietish I leave them.

It is impossible to make children go to sleep so don't exhaust yourself trying to.

Swapping beds is an 'only-at-weekend' rule here.

Must be hard for you - much worse if they used to be apart.

[Pinkchampagne]

They are 4 & 7. The 4 year old goes up at 7pm, followed at 7.30pm by his brother.

I allow them to listen to a story CD & have started to make sure they have a bottle of drink, so they can't call out for that, but they are just so hyper & excitable, no matter what I try to do.

I have recently seperated from their father too, which makes it all harder.

[pointydog]

The whole new routine must make it very hard.

If the younger boy is never asleep when 7 year old goes up, have you considered putting both up at 7.30, half hour reading (or you reading?), lightsout quiet chat?

AT some point (and can't remember when at all) we put both girls to bed at same time.

[Pinkchampagne]

DS1 creates if he is asked to go up at the same time as his younger brother, as he feels he should go to bed later because he's older.

I do go up & read a book when they are both in bed, if DS2 is still very awake, and I allow them to listen to a story CD, but this doesn't seem to calm them.

I guess it is still a bit of a new adventure to them, but they get horribly hyper & we are often talking around 9pm before they calm down & go to sleep, which can be very draining!

[pointydog]

Yes I understand the big broither thing.

Could you also try changing your expectations? Expect them to be asleep by 9.30. Don't tire yourself out by getting on at them, trying to settle them etc.

Tell them they must be QUIET (not silent) and IN BED after a certain time. And promise them a weekend treat if they stick to those simple rules. Yes, bribery

[Tommy]

we had this problem and now we put Ds2 in our bed (or the spare bed)to go to sleep and DS1 goes in their room. We move DS2 over when we go to bed.

It's not ideal but works for us as Ds2 really needs his sleep

[pointydog]

oooooo..

I'd give it a good shot to get them to settle in theor own room beofre going through that faff. Esp if you;re on your own

[Pinkchampagne]

I'm already trying the bribery option, they have behaviour charts because they (DS1 especially) have been challanging me with their behaviour quite a bit in general.

I think I worry about DS1 having problems at school due to tiredness. Weekends don't stress me quite as much.

[pointydog]

is he asleep by 9ish and up at 7ish?

If so, don't worry. He'll get enough sleep. You need less stress!

[Pinkchampagne]

I did get so desperate one night last week, that I did move DS2 into my bed (moving him later), but DS2 thought that was just great & went on to climb into my bed at 4am the following morning, and DS1 started calling out that he thought there was a bee in his room & needed his brother back!

[Gobbledigook]

As you know from your previous thread, I have same problems.

What works here is:

Getting them all totally exhausted - make sure they play outside for a good old stretch of time, lock them out in the garden if you have to

Stagger bedtime - put the one most likely to fall asleep up first, regardless of whether it's youngest or not.

Otherwise, I'd do a reward system. Sticker chart - they either get a smiley face or sad face depending on how each night goes - if get enough they can have a 'treat' on Saturday (here we say they can choose a comic from the supermarket or something).

[Eulalia]

What time do they have to get up? Maybe they are going up to bed too early. I feel I need less sleep in the summer and I am sure children do too. My dd (5) has just started sharing with her big brother (8 next month) and yes it can be just the same with the larking about some nights. Usually works best if I put dd to bed first and ds1 is usually pretty quiet. Mind you mine go to bed much later than yours.

[Pinkchampagne]

I need to wake him at 7ish, it's often a struggle!
I do need less stress! I got quite tearful tonight because it's all getting on top of me so much. (everything, not just this, but this isn't helping!)

[Pinkchampagne]

Locking them in the garden sounds like a good idea!!

[Pinkchampagne]

What time do they go up, Eulalia?

I normally wake my boys around 7.15am.

[Eulalia]

dd goes up about 9pm, ds1 9.30pm. He sleeps roughly 10pm - 8am, I think 10 hours is enough for a child his age. dd may sleep a bit longer although has been getting up the same time recently, she's not started school yet so doesn't need to get up so early. I'd say expecting your kids to spend 12 hours is their room is maybe too long?

Maybe let them bounce about a bit for 20 mins or so and leave a story tape running, dark blind to keep out the light nights and hopefully they should drop off around 8.30 say which should still give them plenty sleep for school.

I know its hard to get any quality time, I gave up with ds1 (he has mild autism so is NEVER tired) and we did try him on melatonin for awhile just to get him to go to sleep (used to lie awake till 11pm). Now the time is still too late but a compromise I suppose.