How can I help dd with this......

[dozydizzy]

My dd is 6. Her teacher today asked to have a little word and told me that she has been putting her hand in her bits lots, increasing lately, esp in storytime, assembly etc. I was mortified. Have seen her do it at home but we just say no and that's it, but it seems like she does it subconsciously. Should I be worried that she is doing this at 6? Her teacher suggested shorts under her dress so will do that. Don't want to make her feel bad about herself and go on about it lots, but it's obviously bothering them at school and quite a few teachers have apparently commented. Feel horrible about it. Don't know why she does it...is it normal for a 6 yr old? She does have some developmental problems with dyspraxia and is deaf in one ear but can't see how they could be related.

[SmudgeMum]

Dozy, hopefully someone will be along with good advice soon. I think it is pretty normal for children to fiddle and boys do it all the time I can understand that you don't want to go on about it, or make her feel bad but equally she needs to know that it's not ok to do when out and about. When I was working with children, we used to say that it's ok to do in their own rooms but not out and about. Sorry I haven't explained that very well and now I'm rambling but basically it was not to forbid it but just to let her know where it's ok to explore herself. I don't know whether appropriate or not, but if DD likes to fiddle with things all the time, you could try getting her a small stress ball thing with all the bits hanging off. They come on keyrings and then she could fiddle with that instead?

[Rachmumoftwo]

I was also going to say boys do it all the time. My girls have been known to do this while watching TV, and I find a simple 'don't do that darling' will suffice. Not so easy for a teacher in a class of kids though, so maybe tell her not to do it in school as it is her private area. Could they give her some beads or something to occupy her hands?

[Hulababy]

I think it is very normal, but that your DD just needs reminding where it is and isn't appropriate to do this. The whole "private" talk stuff.

But definitely normal. And I think boys at leats don't seem to grow out of it. The men at the prison I work at are forever walking round with hands down their pants!

[dozydizzy]

Thanks for your replies. I have had a chat to her about it, saying it is not appropriate in school (or in public at all) and have sent her in shorts under her dress! I feel relieved by your replies, that it's not really something to be worried about at this stage. I like the stress ball idea too as she is very very fiddly, where can you get those from? lol at boys not growing out of it, so true!

[LIZS]

It is probably a comfort thing, especially if she is tired or perhaps doesn't feel at ease in the same way as another child might suck their thumb, stroke a comforter or twizzle their hair. Could she hold something instead, stress ball or maybe a tactile beanbag toy she can have in her pocket.