Do your kids have alter egos? Do you let them?

[rowan1971]

My DS1 (4) has recently insisted that we call him 'Tommy' (after CBeebies' animated environmental campaigner, Tommy Zoom. Yes, he probably does watch too much telly.) I went along with it for a while (a couple of months), but recently I've found myself becoming a bit annoyed with it and telling him rather sharply that I want to use his 'real' name. I'm not sure why it irritates me so much. I suspect that I should just chill out about it, but I'm worried that we will find ourselves down the registry office changing his name if this carries on much longer. Also, he starts school in September and I'm not sure whether this sort of identity muddle will be in his favour then.

Any thoughts?

[Bambiraptor]

I think (hope) it is pretty harmless. My 3 yr old ds has many alter egos including Beastly (from the carebears ) and Riley - a friend from pre-school, and more recently a dinosaur.
I have discussed this with several other parents who all seem to think it is normal.
One of my friends has a dd who pretends to be a dog and has stayed in character for days on end.
I think it shows they have avid imaginations which surely is a good thing.
I too get a bit irritated by it sometimes, but it could be worse atleast he is only pretending to be Tommy Zoom!!

[lizziemun]

My DD 3.4yrs alternates between being a fairy/bird running down road both arms out pretending to fly.

Or number 4 from numberjack which involves either walking with arms out to make number 4 or standing by a door like a door number. At least yours people I just out it down to a very vivid imagination. She happy and thats all that matters.

[mrsmalumbas]

Yes mine are always somebody or other. Smallest DD spent most of the weekend being Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz (and I had to be Toto). Eldest DD is usually Cinderella, or Annaleise (from a Barbie film). Small DD also enjoys "being a baby" which involves me picking her up in my arms like a baby and saying "oh, look at my tiny baby, she's only just been born, she was just born this morning". She closes her eyes and goes "wah! wah!". She's nearly 3! I think they just love role play and pretending at this stage.

[rowan1971]

Thanks for your responses. But is it in any way significant that my DS is always the 'same' person? He never pretends to be anyone else, and it's actually got so that he will barely respond to his real name.

[tortoiseSHELL]

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ds1 was Fireman Sam for 2 and a half years. His stock response to anyone who said hello was 'I'm not ...I'm Fireman Sam.' Dd has various other identities - Penny, Sarah, Ariel etc. But ds1 was continuous for 2 and a half years. I did wonder if I would ever be able to use his real name again, but he does answer to it. When he started school he got round it, by saying he was still Fireman Sam, but at school he pretended to be his real name. And he also said that he was Fireman Sam because he had swapped places, and the real him was helping in Pontypandy!

Ds1 is certainly imaginative in the extreme, and he really LIVED being Fireman Sam. He still loves him, but has moved away from being him. He's also been Wallace (Wallace and Gromit) and Buzz Lightyear.

[cornsilk]

There's a really good story book about alter egos by Antony Browne called 'The Night Shimmy.'

[sunnysideup]

rowan I think it's fine. It isn't an 'identity muddle'; he knows exactly who he is and he feels safe and secure which is why he is able to engage in this imaginative play.

Lots of kids do it. I've had it and still have it with ds; he is often one person for AGES...and always a horrible baddie, always the villain - you think you've got problems!

Don't worry at all. just go with it. It's very unlikely to impinge on him at school; the reality of it will be enough to keep him 'as' himself I'm sure.

[rowan1971]

Ta. Glad it's not just me (or, rather, him).

[Elibean]

Be glad he's not insisting you be Diego or Dudley the Scaredy Dog on a daily basis.

dd stuck to Dora for months on end, thankfully she now varies her alter egoes on a daily if not hourly basis - still likes me to join in, though, and worryingly, I DO

[katelyle]

My dd was somebody called Christina a lot at about this age. Perfectly normal, don't worry about it. It's much easier than an imaginary friend you ahve to cook a separate meal for because "Boggly doesn't like pasta". It's all about finding their own identity and schools are perfectly used to it.