4 yr old dd constantly sucking thumb - advice please

[huffpuff]

she is a shy child and has her thumb constantly lodged in her mouth as a way out of talking to other children and other people in general. On the way to playgroup each morning she is just so chatty then as soon as she sees the gate to playgroup the thumb goes in and the chat goes away.

Its very frustrating and she is starting school in Sept so i am very keen to get her out of this habit.

Any advice or suggestions would be most welcome

[NotQuiteCockney]

I would work on the shyness and ignore the thumb for now, tbh. She's nervous in groups, so is sucking her thumb.

How long has she been at playgroup? Does she talk when she's there? Does she talk to her particular friends when she's at playgroup?

[huffpuff]

NQC - she's been at playgroup for almost 2 years! Barely talks while she's there and leader says her thumb is in her mouth a lot of the time.

Dont know what to do!

[NotQuiteCockney]

Is there anyone at playgroup who she gets on with? (If so, can you have them over for a playdate? If not, invite whomever you like over for a playdate?) Does she talk with the leader?

She may just be shy. I'm not sure what (if anything) can be done about that. I really doubt the thumb is part of the cause.

Does the playgroup leader have any ideas about how to fix these things? (I can ask our parent-run nursery leader, she's really good at these things ... but I don't think she does anything about children being shy or not at the nursery, just leaves them to be themselves, iyswim.)

My DS1 has just now mostly stopped thumb sucking in the day (we put plasters on his thumbs, but with his agreement). But he was never shy, not even vaguely.

[huffpuff]

thanks for your advice and replies NQC - i have spoken to the playgroup leader on numerous occasions but theres not really much she can do. DD is a shy child in group sitautions. It is frustrating as i dont want her to miss out on things but i guess she will come out of her shell when she's ready.

[NotQuiteCockney]

I bet if you started a thread about shy children, or looked for existing threads about them, you could find lots of support etc ... goodness knows, it's hardly a rare characteristic ...

[Diplidophus]

I agree with NQC that the thumbe is a symtom of the shyness rather than the cause.

My son is also a thumbsucker (age 2.5). I can guage his level of anxiety by whether the thumb is in and the degree of sucking (apart from when he is sleepy). As strangers approach the thumb is straight in and hard action on it!

He does however eventually relax and plays well at nursery - it always just takes him 15-20 min to relazx in new environments and with people. We would also liek him to stop sucking but mainly because I feel it is damaging his thumb.

As NQC suggested I would work on helping her to play with other children. could you stay with her at playgroup for a while and help her relax? ALternatively as was suggested invite one or two children at a time to play?

[MaryP0p1]

I was a thumbsucker till I was 13. There was nothing anybody could have said to me to stop me doing it. I stopped because my confidence grew and I felt more secure but when I feel very said or uncomfortable I still miss it.

Sorry I have no advice to stop it.

[fizzbuzz]

Well don't know if this helps, but I'm a secondary school teacher and loads still suck their thumbs, especially in Year 11 (GCSE YEAR). In fact one sucks her thumb, and rubs on a label in her coat at the same time!

[Enid]

leave her

she'll stop when she's ready

she's still a babby

[huffpuff]

she is fine in small groups of say 1 or 2 children and talks loads - its just in larger groups that she's "shy".

Thanks for all the advice

[MaryP0p1]

My DD was the same with large groups, hated them, now is fine and in fact one of the leaders generally.