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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

my 8 year old has a bad attitute

16 replies

jaynel · 23/04/2007 21:54

help my 8 year old daughter talks to me and my dh terrible just lately, she acts like she is 15 and if she cant have what she wants even if she has just been treated she has a paddy and sulks. what can i do, ive tried almost everything,its really getting me down and me and my dh are arguing about it a lot, not infront of her.

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theshrimp · 23/04/2007 22:16

I'm getting a lot of sulking from my Ds (7) at the moment. And back chat. It's exhausting and sometimes I am walking on eggshells. I just hate it that he won't take no for an answer.

kate7 · 23/04/2007 22:25

I have a soon to be eight year old dd, and she is a wonderful child, very loving to her little sister, and can be an absolute angel, but boy can she be a sulky little madam at times!!! We get the loads of backchat and the sulks, and dd wasn't at all like this until a few weeks ago, it does seem to be simply an age related thing. I think I can see what I went through at twelve, starting in dd at nearly eight, a sign of the times I suppose. Dh and I just try to laugh it all off, I think it helps to develop a slightly detached, and possibly warped sense of humour at these times!!!

jaynel · 23/04/2007 22:29

i can take a lot on the chin but my dh had strick up bringing and he thinks she needs the same, i dont agree with the way he handles things but if i intervine she picks that up an plays on it more

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kate7 · 23/04/2007 22:39

completely agree with that, they will always spot dissention in the ranks and exploit it terribly. Dh and I do tend to agree on most things related to discipline, so I expect we are lucky, but one thing we did do a long time ago was sit down and have a long talk about what we both expected and wanted to instill re discipline. We do still have the odd disagreement about things but generally sing from the same song sheet because we thrashed it all out when dd1 was tiny. I remember being warned by my mother about children being brilliant at "divide and conquer", so a council of war where you and dh can draw up some compromised battle lines may be really useful??

jaynel · 23/04/2007 22:43

we need to do something before we ruin our marriage

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gtimama · 23/04/2007 22:48

I have twin 8 yr old DD's.

They can be a complete nightmare at times.

They are excrutiatingly shy with any other adults. If other people could see the way that they sometimes talk to me, they would not believe that they were the same children.

jaynel · 23/04/2007 22:51

mine too, she makes me look like a lier sometimes!

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Wotzsaname · 23/04/2007 22:54

sorry to have to refer to a book, but this is good.

Every so often I have to re-read through. Not fast track route I found, otherwise I would be writing a book myself

here

Excuse the title, It means nothing.

jaynel · 23/04/2007 22:56

does it help?

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Wotzsaname · 23/04/2007 22:58

Yes, very much. Alot made v good sense.

Wotzsaname · 23/04/2007 23:00

I think this would sum it up

written on the inside falp

"The program teaches parents to say no without feeling guilt; to resist the urge to feel responsible for their child's happiness; to view their children as emotionally competent and resilient; and most importantly, to realize that effective parenting means allowing your child to make mistakes and develop a sense of competence, which leads to enhanced self-esteem and an ability to live independently and successfully in the real world. "

jaynel · 23/04/2007 23:00

i will have a look on ebay x

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AlwaysWatchingCastawayAt2am · 23/04/2007 23:01

i logged on specifically to ask this question - my ds is 7 and he's really getting me down. he's so negative and contrary. i start every morning determined to be as loving and in control as i remember my mum being, and within 30 mins i'm usually screaming hopelessly. it makes me so sad for him and so helpless. i really want to make us a happier family. I often think i know how i should behave to bring out better aspects of him but it's very hard to change yourself.

Wotzsaname · 23/04/2007 23:02

Try the library too. Sometimes they can get things for you if it is on their list of registerd books.

Good luck, I hope you find some suitable suggestions which work for your family

AlwaysWatchingCastawayAt2am · 23/04/2007 23:02

i'm going to the library website now! can a book help long term? i hope so.

Wotzsaname · 23/04/2007 23:05

A book can help if you find suggestions that suit you and your family.

It is useful for all ages, right up to teens, so I am keeping mine for future tantrams.

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