Should i care ?

[JakesMum05]

My DS is nearly 22 mths and i have to admit, he is wonderful. i hear other mothers saying theirs are too clingy or they whinge all the time etc and mine doesn't. He's not at nursery yet but is confident and happy and amazingly generous, he often shares toys with other children or when at the library he'll get himself a book then give one to another child.

however, every week we go to a group where the children can climb on equipment and/or play with balls, sticks, bats etc. He loves it, he really enjoys climbing and being with other children. But he is impatient when queueing and seems pushy. i pull him back and say "no wait" and most parents smile and give you a look, y'know, that they understand the problem. But some parents (and i'm not being judgemental, but they seem to have the quieter, less robust children) look at me like dirt and tut and move their children away. Unfortunatly they are the same people that play with the separate games and my DS tends to take whatever the toy is off the other children. i say no to him at and wego and look for another one, but the parents behave like he's the child of satan, giving both dirty looks. He does on occasion share a little to over exuburantly and has accidently hit other children . i say no to that too but i'm not going to reprimand him excessively becasue he didn't do it on purpose (and i'm not being a soppy mother; he doesn't do it on purpose). but the way these mothers look at me and whisper to each other (they all know one another) makes me feel like i should make a big song and dance about telling him off.

Should i ? or should i just let him be a toddler ? Why can't they see that just because their little ones are quiet and delicate not all boy are ? any socially aware parent advise appreciated.

[Kelly1978]

I think you might be being a little bit oversensitive, jsut ignore them and carry on with what you are doing. You are dealing with the situation.

[bagaboo]

I was just going to post on a similar thing, my DS is 13months and has been walking for about 4 months now. We go to a lovely baby signing group but he never sits still for more than 5 minutes in a day so he tends to go off and play in another part of the room. I thought that maybe it was because he's a bit older than many of the other children there but we tried tumbletots today and the same sort of thing happened - he wants to play and run about and not sit down like all the other kids seem to. I know he's not hyperactive, he's just a proper little boy at quite a young age is how i think of it, and he is friendly with other children, but i feel like i'm being thought of as a bad mum because i don't force him to hold my hand or sit down and sing all the time! I know exactly what you mean about the looks Jakesmum! I find it really hard when people look at me but it's not like he's badly behaved, he just wants to do everything himself. I often feel like there are rules that we''re supposed to follow at toddler groups that i can't work out so i don't know how my DS is supposed to, but maybe i m over sensitive! So anyway, sorry for that ramble but i know how you feel and i'm glad there's someone else who has the same worries as me, i would be interested to know what everyone else says! I personally don't think you should feel pressured to tell your little boy off more, like you say he is a toddler and if you were the other parent in that situation you would be understanding so i don't think it's unfair for you to expect them to be. I always just make sure that if he's told off it's appropriate to what he's done, and distracting him generally works better anyway.

[daisyhun]

IMHO if you tell him no, and he then does as you say/request then no need to tell him off - what has he done wrong? He didn't realise it was not what was expected...

If he continues to disobey you then that is doing something wrong so I would expect a mother to tell her DC off at that point.

In relation to taking toys off other children, that's just part of life isn't it, and if the other mothers are worried about their DCs then they are the ones in the wrong for not teaching their DCs how to deal with life and interact with other kids IYSWIM.

[JakesMum05]

Thanks all. Nice to know i'm not on my own bagaboo. I know it's what toddlers do but i always assume others know more than me. Thanks for the vote of confidence.