The terrible twos

[MiaWallace]

Well dd isn't quite two (not till next month) but the tantrums are coming thick and fast.

She has had at four today. Well four major ones at least, including throwing herself on the floor, banging her head, kicking and screaming.

I know it's her age, she is only try to express herself, she will grow out of it,
BUT in the meantime how do I cope?

I'm not the most patient of people, I would never ever smack her but I feel my blood boiling when we are on the forth tantrum of the day.

Any advice?

[TheArmadillo]

ignore, remove and distract I think are the rules for coping with a 2yo.

If she has a tantrum then ignore her (MN for a while if you can ).

If you are getting really worked up then shut yourself away for 5 minutes like you do when they're babies.

If you're out and she's in danger then you hold them still, but no eye contact and keep ignoring.

Afterwards, quick cuddle and then pretend it never happened.

Remember the mantra 'it's just a phase, this too shall pass'.

They know how to wind you up something chronic though.

[terramum]

Ive found it helps to pick your battles - if you can avoid them then its worth it imo - so if they want to play with something or help you then as long as its not dangerous for them (but maybe take you a little longer to get something done ) then its worth it imo if it avoids a tantrum....if they do happen though these are the things I have found have worked for bringing DS out of them:

Distraction - "OOOO look at that!" (said in your very best childrens presenter voice .....

offering food (I found DS had more tantrums when he hadnt eaten for a while - low blood sugar)......

offering the boob (assuming you are bfing! ).....

sitting calmly next to them so they have someone nearby to go to when they are calmer - I found DS often asked to be picked up when he had had his little paddy - & it helped calm him down quicker & prevented a further tantrum if I complied)......

sitting nearby & reading a favourite book outloud would often grab his interest (kind of like the distraction one...

turn the tv on to cbeebies or their fave video/dvd!

Picking him up worked occasionally with DS...but quite often any physical contact of getting too near made him worse...depends on the tantrum & what set it off really..

...& finally if all else fails - walk off for a few minutes & leave them to it - sometimes they just need a bit of space

[MiaWallace]

Some great ideas there, thanks.

The ones I find most difficult to deal with are when we are out in public. I hate the critical stares

[MorocconOil]

My daughter(same age as yours) has just had a tantrum over some paints. I know she's very young but I find it so frustrating not being able to reason with her. I could feel myself getting really angry. Then I realised she hadn't had her breakfast and 10 minutes later having eaten a huge bowl of porridge she is a completely different child.

I also find she is more prone to tantruming if sleep deprived so I try to make sure she is well-rested.

When she is in the middle of a tantrum I just ignore it. It's hard but any intervention seems to make it last longer and makes me feel crosser.

Also try to ignore the critical stares. The ones who stare have got nothing better to do.