Please help ds (3)is driving me demented about getting dressed......

[poptot]

Has anyone got any suggestions, ds is 3 and getting him dressed in the morning is becoming silly! He is obsessed with one pair of jeans and given the option will not wear anything else, he has been known to retrieve them from the washing basket and put them on himself. There are certain pairs he absolutely will not wear which I think is ridiculous but I really haven't got time every morning to fight with him over it. I thought the holidays would give us time to sort it out but it's getting worse and is now extending to tops and pants. He also goes into major meltdown if anything gets in the slightest bit wet and he takes it straight off and will refuse to have it back on until it is bone dry. This morning he has had to have time out four times and threats of no swimming before he would put on what I had said. It's just becoming so an issue. Dd was never like this she wouldn't wear trousers but as long as she had a skirt or dress she wasn't bothered which one it was. Suggestions welcomed please.

[gigglinggoblin]

let him choose. social services wont take him away for wearing dirty jeans!

[Mamalennon]

I remember one holiday when my DS2 (now 7, then 3) was exactly as you describe. My normally calm DH ended up screaming at him that he was a brat, it was awful. Just to reassure you, the phase did pass and he's now very easy about clothes.

I think the trick is to anticipate that this will happen and prepare for it by laying out clothes for the next day, with your son, in a particular place that he chooses. This sort of obsession is about control, which is why it's so important to them, then they grow out of that phase. Certainly relax your standards about how clean the clothes need to be and, if necessary, buy a couple of pairs of the favourite items. Their ability to stick to what they want at this age is phenomenal and you will drive yourself nuts by constantly getting into arguments about it.

Good luck!

[tinkerbellhadpiles]

Sticker orientated bribery?

[snowleopard]

My DS is younger but just starting to get like this too - demands particular clothes and has an almighty fuss if anything gets wet or dirty. He wails "Oh dear... oh dear... messy!" (What have I spawned???)

However, I kind of sympathise with him - I bet there are clothes that you buy and then don't want to wear because they feel wrong, and he may have sensitive skin or something. You say hsis sister wouldn't wear trousers - perhaps they irritated her and maybe they do him too? Plus it's an age where children want control but have very little of it and clothes is an area where they try to express themselves. I'd set up situations where he can choose, try getting trousers only of the kind he likes - and maybe he could shop with you and help choose his things (within reason obviously... )

[poptot]

thanks for your suggestion.Snowleopard I suppose one of the most frustrating things is I took him three weeks ago to choose some new clothes, he chose three pairs of jeans which he now refuses to wear. Agh suppose I'm just going to have to go with the flow

[Nemo2007]

My ds[3.5] was like this so we started laying out clothes for the next day when he went to bed. So he would still have on the dirty clothes and they were not a choice unless they were reasonably clean. Worked for him and now 3 mths on he will wear anything.

[lory]

DS1 3y was exactly the same with a t-shirt, so one day as he was kicking and screaming, I went in the kitchen and took the BIG scissors, then with a very calm and soft voice I told him that I didn?t tolerate this behaviour and if it was caused by the t-shirt I would cut it into thousand pieces. And it worked!!

[seeker]

I must have very low standards - I would just let him wear what he wants! I think that it's important to choose the battles you want to fight and this one isn't worth fighting. He'll grow out of it - "it's just a phase"! I still remember when I was first pregnant, I saw a mum walking happily and unconcernedly down the road with a little girl who had obviously dressed herself and was wearing pyjamas with a swimming costume over them, pink wellies and a tiara. I thought she was the coolest mum I had ever seen!