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Behaviour/development

"Emotionally mature" 4 year old...

1 reply

tigerlily1980 · 23/03/2007 23:45

I have boy/girl twins who were four in January. They started the local school nursery last September.

Before they started nursery, my little girl was shyer than her brother, and more studious. My little boy was the boisterous one; into superheroes, and always joking and laughing.

At first they seemed to be absolutely thriving there. They knew some children from a previous toddler group, and both seemed to be happy and popular. My little boy developed great relationships with the teachers, and started to take a real interest in learning. He took on a responsible role in the classroom, helping to pacify other children, and even enjoying tidying up. My little girl seemed to make friends with every child in the class and became far more outgoing and cheeky.

Over the past couple of months, my little boy has seemed quite unhappy, often telling me that nobody plays with him at nursery and that he doesn't want to go anymore. This will sound awful, but I didn't take it seriously as I thought that he had some good friends there.

I recently saw his teacher for his end of term review, and she told me that he was a lovely, helpful boy, but was too "emotionally mature" for his peers. I admit that he is happiest when playing with older boys, but he seems to be isolating himself in the classroom. I asked her if it bothered him, and she didn't feel that it did.

However today when I took him in, he burst into tears when I left and started screaming "I want to go home, I hate it here". The teachers were really shocked and said that I could stay for an hour as he was so distraught. He has never done this before. I waited until he had settled down, and then left, which he seemed ok about.

When I picked him up, he was quite happy, and then got in the car and said "I had a lovely day, but it's my last day...I am not going there again". I asked him why and he just kept saying that he didn't like certain children because they were silly.

So now, I am sitting here feeling heartbroken that I haven't listened to my child...and also wondering what I can do. I can't make him like the other boys, and I can't make them like him either. He was so happy there at first and has really changed. He was always so sociable, but now is lacking in social skills.

It is a lovely nursery and he likes the teachers. Academically my son has jumped leaps and bounds there. My daughter absolutely loves it. But should I remove him if he hates it so much?

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brimfull · 23/03/2007 23:49

Gosh hard one
My first instinct is to let him stay at home and either find something a bit more mature for him or wait it out until school.Easy for me to say I know...is there nothing they can do there to help him feel more comfortable and happy?

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