please help, what is happening to my sweet baby

[forevermore]

20 month old dd is the size of a three to four year old. both DH and I both over 6' so no suprises there.

however it means that her constant hitting, pushing and shoving of other children looks so bad and means they go flying. i used to feel its because she is frustrated and cannot communicate properly but now i worry that she is just a bully?

there is a boy with her at childminders who is 5 months older but half her size and his mother is now saying that dd is 'battering' him. she is very malicious so not an ideal judge of dd but still it hurts. both dh and I used to make ourselves small at school to ensure we were not seen as a bully! and it really hurts that she has all this to come and isn't doing herself any favours by getting labelled as a bully at such a young age.

this may sound rash but i am really worried for her future reputation. being bigger and a bully is not good.

on top of all this she has the tendency to hug and kiss the liitle kids that she shoves or pretend to be comforting them before shoving them. whats all that about?

finally she has not started a phase of refusing me to wash her hair, brush her teeth, change her nappy, hold her hand in the street. this isn't all the time, but will invariably end in her having a tantrum / screaming if i insit. mealtimes are also a battle and bed time hit and miss but mainly a hit.

to end positively, she is happy most of the time, developing well, enjoys eating a blanced diet (sometimes, loves to go out, play, kiss hug and all the other joys of toddlers.
any advice welcome

[forevermore]

bump bump

[ScottishThistle]

Sounds like early-onset Terrible Two's to me!

[auntiflo]

All sopunds normal to me for that age. I know how embarrassing it can be and how you worry, I certainly did with my 1st, but she will calm down, keep reasuring her and showering her with love. Distract away ofrom or ignore the 'naughty' behaviour and give lots of praise and attention when she performs well and you'll ride out these difficult months a little easier!