I have just had the following conversation with ds (19 months)

(86 Posts)
daisyhun Wed 04-Apr-07 10:57:46

My neice calls nipples "buttons"

We also had "maffis" for "massive"

"hopstable" for "hospital"

"peem" for "cream"

and my nephew makes everyone put their hands on the side of their heads and pretend to be reindeer with their "hanklers" (antlers)

my favourite was my neice exclaiming, when she saw a picture in a book I was reading her, that she could see "squirrets" (squirrels). We all call them squirrets now which surely can't help her learn the real word for them!

DD thinks my nipples are tummy buttons (something to do with where they are atm I suppose ) and my ear lobes are nipples - she is always pointing to them in public and shouting 'Mummy nipple!'

midnightexpress Wed 04-Apr-07 09:16:39

DS1 (nearly 17mo) currently obsessed with all things vehicular. I was getting bored with 'a BAH!' every time he saw a bus so tried to teach him 'double decker' to add a bit of variety. We now get 'a BAH! Dubbadah!'.

Jonut Wed 04-Apr-07 00:08:50

I speak quite quickly and my daughter heard me say to my mum that I wanted to go to the Early Learning Centre and asked me "Where's the Nur Nur Nur Nur Centre mum?" !!

feetheart Thu 22-Mar-07 23:02:59

Thankfully no problems with ducks at all

boo64 Thu 22-Mar-07 23:01:34

I just have visions of you at the duck pond and her saying 'Look mummy what is that f* doing'

boo64 Thu 22-Mar-07 23:00:41

ooh but did she use f's when saying duck and chuck etc....now that would have raised eyebrows in public.

feetheart Thu 22-Mar-07 22:59:49

Actually my MN name come from that time too as she used to call her new baby brother 'my little feetheart'

feetheart Thu 22-Mar-07 22:58:12

DD had a real thing about 'f's' when she was 2. We had:
Fractor - tractor
feeties - sweeties
frain- friver - train driver
and many more but my absolute favourite will always be - freepy-frawlies

losty Thu 22-Mar-07 22:45:01

pmsl boo !!!!!!!!!!

boo64 Thu 22-Mar-07 22:38:25

Ok conversation with ds (20 months) today:
(Ds looking at Des O'Connor on Countdown) 'Daddy there'
Me: No ds that's not daddy that's Des O Connor'
DS: 'Daddy there, there daddy there' - pointing at Des

Dh should be worried about this resemblance I think...

LowFatMilkshake Thu 22-Mar-07 22:23:25

carol3, I used to say parkark and barruhb.

When DD was about 2 if it was raining she would say it was minging

And we are a sci-fi household and she used to call Star Wars...Star whores

totallyfloaty35 Thu 22-Mar-07 22:19:26

my dd always washed her hams with soak then put on her glubs
Her best one was stickyfoot for certificate,its still called that now(7 yrs later)

losty Thu 22-Mar-07 22:10:45

my ds2 stll has a muyslin - he calls it hsi cow

LowFatMilkshake Thu 22-Mar-07 22:08:53

In chaging room today of shop looking for dress for party, DD(3) watching me in very loud voice:

DD: mummy why you taking off your jacket?

Me: I want to if this pretty dress fits me

watched me take of my top
DD: mummy take of your top for me

watched me take of my shoes and trousers
DD: take of your shoes, now take of your trousers for me.
Then silence as I took the dress of the hanger

DD: Mummy why you keeping your knickers on?

Glad it was women only chaging room!

iwearflairs Thu 22-Mar-07 21:55:47

DS (3) was very earnestly feeling his bottom today at bathtime and suddenly announced:

I've got a bottom button!

cane Thu 22-Mar-07 20:39:55

DD1 (2.9) trod on a tiny bit of broken glass in the kitchen and on seeing blood, asked why she had wine coming out of her foot

MAsMummy Thu 22-Mar-07 20:09:41

My 2.10 old has been going through the annoying stage of asking why all the time to the point where it is no longer a question but a test as to how long it can go on for before I snap! I have now come up with a solution which is that she now knows if she is just being silly I will answer "because there are pink elephants dancing in the garden" The other day however she flumexed (is that a word?) me with "why do I keep asking you Why Mummy" Does anyone have answer for that?

liath Wed 21-Mar-07 20:43:10

My sister has been really dilligent at teaching her ds to say please & thank you. I gave him some water the the other day and he said "Fuck you auntie **" with a beaming smile. All she needs to do is work on his pronounciation .

Dd calls squirrels "shool-yoo-yoos" which is so cute.

Miaou Wed 21-Mar-07 20:30:04

LOL at all these stories

A wee update - ds can now sort of say sheep - but obviously this comes out as "shit" <<sigh>> much to the dds amusement

He can also say "shut oop" to the dog when she whines (in a great broad Yorkshire accent )

soph28 Wed 21-Mar-07 20:25:54

A few months ago ds was in the bath and the conversation went

Me: Where's your belly button?

DS: Pointed to his willy

Me: No, that's your willy

DS: BIG willy!

It was hilarious and he was only 20mths and already a typical man.

We had the whole melon pip thing again today except it was a tiny stone in the bottom of the nappy bucket and apparantly it was a cow! What an imagination!

yacketyblah Wed 21-Mar-07 20:06:04

Oh so it's not just my DD! She has a toy castle with play figures, including a dragon. So now whenever we're out and about and she sees a church she says 'it's a castle', I say, no it's a church
Ok its a castle
"it's got a dinosaur on it".

Can't wait to show her a real castle..

MiaWallace Tue 20-Mar-07 07:09:25

PMSL at your dd Aitch

AitchYouBerk Tue 20-Mar-07 00:33:44


hunkermunker Tue 20-Mar-07 00:27:48

DS1 wanted to "buy Mummy some uncles at the shops" earlier - he has four uncles and I said I had none [melt]

AitchYouBerk Tue 20-Mar-07 00:17:13

i've already posted about how dd pointed at me in the bath and said 'teddy', which was a kick up the arse to get the immac out. recently, however, she's started doing her elephant impressions when she sees DH naked. i think he's flattered, the goon.

chipmonkey Tue 20-Mar-07 00:11:53

When my brother was little he was unable to make the "k" sound so as we walked along the road he used to say
"teep in, tar tummin' "

wrinklytum Tue 20-Mar-07 00:10:13

ds to me earlier

"mummy,when DD is bigger will she grow a willy?"

carol3 Mon 19-Mar-07 23:49:52

dd2 thinks its funny to call me by my first name instead of mummy but she can't do c's so calls me darol

nally Mon 19-Mar-07 23:48:30

ds calls spaghetti 'sucky pasta'

carol3 Mon 19-Mar-07 23:47:44

ds used to park kark for carpark

carol3 Mon 19-Mar-07 23:46:13

dd 3 cant say spaghetti and has now given up trying and calls it long pasta

nally Mon 19-Mar-07 23:40:58

ds (aged 3) spent some time looking at his uncle one day, then very slowly said "you have a very small brain". not sure why he said it or what made him think so, but we all fell about laughing

Marina Mon 19-Mar-07 23:36:16

Dd says pasketti too (she's 3)
I love these endless toddler brain-frying exchanges. Dd is just growing out of them and this smashing thread reminds me of how much I'll miss them .
We are now in the world of the imaginary friend though. Dd's is called "Eh".

Clary Mon 19-Mar-07 23:24:22

podglet spaghetti is one of the harest words to say, apparently.

When Kirk Douglas was recovering from his stroke he found it really hard to master as his speech returned.

DS1 (7) still says "bisetti" or "sgetti"

podglet Mon 19-Mar-07 20:00:09

Am trying to read these out to DP and laughing too hard these are fab

DS is only 4 months so no contributions from him yet (but have made mental note to write them down as suggested)

My baby brother (now 22) used to say "hoogalan" and "psgetty" - hooligan and spaghetti. He also used to ask to go to the "early wurly centre" when we went into town...

RubyRioja Mon 19-Mar-07 19:49:31

Q proud of dd3 today. We all piled in the car then up piped a little voice. 'You got seatbelts on?'. She is 22 m!

kitbit Mon 19-Mar-07 19:38:59

we just had i-keem with stawbees and spikkles on for pudding (I'm sure I don't need to translate, but just in case it was ice cream with strawberries and sprinkles on top!)

staceym11 Mon 19-Mar-07 16:44:44

we have the whole

its a pigeon
no chicken mummy
no its a pigeon
ok ok a chicken
nice pigeon!

what is all that about??!?!

dd last xmas called decorations deckyraisins, which is so cute, but now she can say decoration!

wotzsaname Mon 19-Mar-07 16:07:14


'try and use the right worms!' that's what I say when dds get toungue tied!

Iklboo Mon 19-Mar-07 16:00:02

Nephew (now 8) used to call flapjacks "japs flaps"

Cocobabe Mon 19-Mar-07 15:56:33

thirdwisemonkey- lol ! yr thread gave me a big cheer !

3andnomore Mon 19-Mar-07 15:04:18

lol...my ms is asking just now, why I am laughing...lol!

thethirdwisemonkey Mon 19-Mar-07 14:53:37

my ds is 22 months, I took him to the park last week and we were walking along the side of the pond with grandma. He got v.excited when he saw the ducks and started shouting Awwww fucks, quack quack, fucks, quack quack

Clary Mon 19-Mar-07 11:14:08

Oh these are lovely.

Agree you should write them down. Still treasure first conversation with DS1, almost 2 but not a great talker then:

DS1: Mummy
Me: yes DS, what is it?
DS1: Bye
Me: Oh yes DS, are you going out?
DS: Yes
Me: OK then sweetheart, bye bye, see you later.

It just makes me laugh because my input is so much greater than his one-word efforts! but that's how we learn isn't it.

Kateaw Sat 17-Mar-07 20:06:39

DD (two and a half) says Ephelant instead of Elephant. It's so sweet.

My husband's family still use "lilished" - finished, "eggys" - eggs and "nin nans" - bananas. The youngest child is pushing 27!

MiaWallace Sat 17-Mar-07 15:49:16

Twiglett your dd sounds fab

Twiglett Sat 17-Mar-07 09:26:08

DD is my doppleganger .. she's approaching 3


I have been teaching her the 'pardon me for being so rude, it was not me it was her food, it came up high to say hello, and now its gone back down below' rhyme

Last week .. after sunday lunch DD pretended to burp and said

"Pardon me for being so rude, it was not me
It was Daddy's Fault"

ROFL .. that's my girl

Catbabymummy Sat 17-Mar-07 09:22:24

Sorry meant my frien'd dd!!! Typing with my thumbs again

Catbabymummy Sat 17-Mar-07 09:20:50

One of my brothers used to say lellow instead of yellow until he was about 7. It was soooo cute! We still wind him up about it now (he's nearly 27!).
Another cute thing dss used to do was say "Uv" which mean "I love you".
My friend's little dss overheard her mum using saying sh!t after she'd dropped a tin of beans on the floor, can you guess what happened next?

jollymum Fri 16-Mar-07 20:18:01

Not exclusively mine but related..
I teach mucis to kids and we have songs about clocks....

Here goes..

We are aiming to prenounce and say each word precisely..

Tick Tock, Tick Tock..
My Daddy's big clock....

(aiming to teach fast and slow music/rhythms

But my nanny's little clock,
Goes Tick tock tick tock..

Awesome stunned silence on a trip to Spain, OMG 3 hours long, with beautifully anounceiated(sp?) word accompanying the song...over and over again, until Daddy (red faced and squiriming) decides to distract said child. Bearing in mind said child can't say the letter "L" and misses it out. Asks child what time it is, is it time for lunch etc etc and child sweetly announces that in order to tell the time Mummy has to get the
c(l)ock out because mummy can't tell the time without her c(l)ock. Whole plane by now is red faced and trying not to laugh .Dad gives up and just hopes that Jollymum hasn't taught his little munchkin any other songs with l or k in them

kittylette Fri 16-Mar-07 20:08:45

these are my fave threads,

the best was soph's LO's cuddly melon pip

TeeCee Fri 16-Mar-07 20:05:11


kitbit Fri 16-Mar-07 20:02:12

ds had a real problem with the "tr" sound for ages. On a flight home to visit grandparents (therefore cooped up with the same people for about 3 hrs) he kept waving his bright yellow lorry in the air and shouting "FUCK!!! FUUUUCK!! Mummy, FUUUCK! " much to the amusement of the 2 15 year olds sitting behind us!

PinkTulips Fri 16-Mar-07 17:40:48

lol wallace!

that reminds me... after hearing my mother saying pussycat dd now calls them...... yes, you've guessed it.... pissy cats!

MiaWallace Fri 16-Mar-07 17:31:56

I've posted this one before, but I still think it's funny.

Dd wants to take her fuckit and spade to the beach

ProfYaffle Fri 16-Mar-07 17:24:49

Had v similar with dd, she's nearly 3 and still says 'me' instead of 'I':

dd 'me hungry'
me 'can you say I?'
dd 'I'
me 'can you say I'm hungry?'
dd (astonished) 'you hungry mummy?'
me 'no, you'
dd 'me?'
me 'no, I'
dd 'you?'
me <sigh> 'shall I make you a sandwich?'

tribpot Fri 16-Mar-07 17:14:18

I've just gone through about four months of intensive work with ds (20 months) to convince him horses say neigh and not quack quack. He was adamant about it. I was reduced to singing "the horses on the bus say neigh neigh neigh" at every opportunity.

Have given up for the time being on the time-honoured question: "squirrels. They're just cats basically aren't they?" as he shouts "AM" (meow) at them in the park.

PinkTulips Fri 16-Mar-07 17:10:10

sice meeting a baby with the same name as her at creche dd has decided all babies are named after her... including baby brother

we've also had the whole
'no, cat'
'no! wabbit!'
'no, cat'
'no, cat'
'fine, it's a rabbit!'
'nice cat!'

Tatat Fri 16-Mar-07 16:50:30

Soph that is sooo adorable, really made me giggle lots

DS 2.3 is quite good at talking but does say cute mixed up things
"Kiss" is "piss" which raises eyebrows when he's running after me shouting at the top of his voice "PISS! PISS! MUMMY PISS!" because he wants to kiss me

BigCookLittleCook Fri 16-Mar-07 14:52:47

Think Sophable wins (melon pip...), but all are very funny. Really cheered me up.

lemonaid Fri 16-Mar-07 14:40:40

DS (25 months): Di'saur
Me: It does look like a dinosaur, doesn't it? But it's a lizard.
DS: Di'saur
Me: Lizard
DS: Di'saur
Me: No, a lizard
DS: Di'saur
Me: OK, then, it's a dinosaur
DS: Lizard
Me: That's right, a lizard. Well done!
DS: Di'saur.

soph28 Thu 15-Mar-07 12:25:28

that's funny, fridayatlast.

DS thinks that Daddy is at work or at the toilet!

fridayatlast Thu 15-Mar-07 12:21:59

My DS at about 2 yrs old, when my mum used to mind him. He knew that if Grandad wasn't there he was often either at work ... or golf:

DS: Where's Grandad?

Mum: He's at work

DS: or golf

Mum: Yes, but today he's at work

DS: or golf

Mum: no ... work

DS: or golf

Mum: no DS ... he's at work

DS: or golf

Mum: <<gives in>> OK, yes he's at golf

DS: <<pauses>> ... or work

LittleMamaT Thu 15-Mar-07 11:16:25

We often visit a farm where there are wallabies. For ages DS1 called them 'wobblies' - so sweet and I'm now sad that he can say 'wallabies'.

deaconblue Thu 15-Mar-07 09:58:46


colditz Wed 14-Mar-07 22:19:41

Soph that is very veyr funny

littlelapin Wed 14-Mar-07 22:18:44

Miaou, I've just tried to read this out to you to my DH but I couldn't get beyond "Peesh" because I was laughing so hard... I still have tears in my eyes... absolute classic.

What a cutie pie!

soph28 Wed 14-Mar-07 22:18:42

I had this conversation with ds (23+mths) the other day:

Him: crouching beside the upturned wash basket 'oooh puppy, awww cute, lovely puppy'

Me: 'Oh have you got a puppy there under the wash basket'

Him: turning basket over and taking something tiny out and cupping in his hands 'Yes, lovely puppy, awwww soft puppy'

Me: very curious 'let me see'

Him: 'look lovely puppy' holds out a cupped hand to reaveal a MELON PIP!!!

hunkermunker Wed 14-Mar-07 22:16:27


He's FAB, Miaou!

colditz Wed 14-Mar-07 22:15:37

When ds1 was 2, he stroked my leg and exclaimed "Fur!"

casmumof3 Wed 14-Mar-07 22:15:05

that flippin capslock

Catbabymummy Wed 14-Mar-07 22:14:26

My dss, when he was about that age, used to call plums, clowns. My theory is they reminded hime of the clowns's red noses...

casmumof3 Wed 14-Mar-07 22:13:26

please write these down so you dont forget them,my children said some lovely things when they were tiny but I have forgotten them now.


mollymawk Wed 14-Mar-07 22:10:41

Miaou, I am reminded of the inability of my ds2, aged 20 months, to say "sheep". He does love them though. I have a nightshirt with pictues of sheep on (ancient, from M&S) and whenever I wear it, as soon as he wakes up he points excitedly at me and shouts "beetch".

Miaou Wed 14-Mar-07 21:59:34

ROFL mumofmonsters!!!!!

MerlinsBeard Wed 14-Mar-07 20:25:36

I went to the loo the other day and DS2 came in (23 mo) pointed and said his word for spider

Abwab Wed 14-Mar-07 20:22:42

my Ds 2.6 followed my into the loo the other day and was studying me carefully as i had a wee and then said "Mummy, you have got whiskers on your bum". i couldn't help but die laughing and then made a mental note ot have abit of a tidy up down there!!

Califrau Wed 14-Mar-07 15:58:14

tweetyfish Wed 14-Mar-07 15:47:03

ah bless, that's so sweet!

having somthing similar here with DD. Look, an elephant "yeah, rabbit".. No, elephant "rabbit". ele "ele" phant "fant" elephant............"rabbit"

Cocobabe Wed 14-Mar-07 15:42:46

kids talk are wonderful arent they !, last night at dinner , it was just me and my dd , she suddenly she whispered to me ' Ive made you a candle at nursery for mothers day ' I asked her why she whispered to me when there was no one else in the room - she said ' its a secret !'..hee hee now I will have to act surprised on mothers day!

marymoocow Wed 14-Mar-07 14:48:21

. Just finished chuckling to myself when my ds (aged 3) came up to me and said he needed something to draw on. I gave him some paper out of the printer, and he replied "is it real paper" Not sure what he thought it was really

That's what's so wonderful about children. Can be really naughty all day and then come out with something like that and make it all better.

sockmonkey Wed 14-Mar-07 14:47:59

hehehehehehehe.That's fantastic

JaneAustenAllegro Wed 14-Mar-07 14:40:24

ahhh bless him

fryalot Wed 14-Mar-07 14:38:52

Miaou Wed 14-Mar-07 14:38:05

Him: (holding a toy sheep in each hand)

Me: Oooh what have you got there, ds?

Him: Horse.

Me: No they are sheep. SHEEP.

Him: Eeep

Me: Sheep.

Him: Peep

Me: Sheep

Him: Peesh

Me: Sheep

Him: <<<sigh>>> Horse

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