7 year old boys. Are they normally forgetful?

(33 Posts)
ghosty Mon 12-Mar-07 05:54:17

Is it a phase?

DS is becoming increasingly forgetful ... or maybe it seems so because I am beginning to make him take a bit more responsibility that I am noticing how forgetful he is.

He stayed with friends last week for 2 nights and they said he was a "... joy to have, a treasure! But isn't he forgetful?" Cue stories of forgotten lunch money, forgotten library books, soccer bag left behind etc.

Today he carried his school bag and swimming bag into school. He hung them up on pegs next to eachother (I saw him do this)
This afternoon he came out of school and burst into tears saying I forgot to remind him to take his swimming bag into school and he had to sit and watch the other children swim. We went into school and his swimming bag was right there, where he hung it up this morning! What's that all about?
(he wasn't trying to get out of swimming - he loves it, his favourite part of the day)

In the words of my mother, "He would lose his head if it wasn't fixed on ..."

Is this normal development? Do i continue to get him to learn the consequences of his forgetfulness (ie missing swimming) or do I take a bit more control back so that he doesn't end up forgetting stuff because I have remembered .... but if I did that, when would it end???

ghosty Mon 12-Mar-07 08:05:13

... maybe not a phase then ....

frenchleave Mon 12-Mar-07 08:38:02

Don't know about boys (yet) but my 7-yr-old girl is exactly the same. Forgets everything, distributes her belongings all over the house and can never find a thing. The total opposite of her 9-yr-old sister.

I think it's more of a character trait than a boy/girl issue. I tried the consequences thing but it didn't feel right because she really doesn't do it on purpose and she gets really distressed when she can't find something important, just like your son. I have just accepted that she's going to need nudging until she's older/leaves home and has to take responsibility for her belongings .

Mo2 Mon 12-Mar-07 08:43:13

Hello! My 7-yr old boy is the same Ghosty...

Comes out of school with at least one piece of clothing missing just about every day.

Lost his glasses - couldn't even remember where he'd taken them off. After a week we ordered another pair. Next day a friend of his found them - in his coat pocket

I'm not sure anything really helps, but having a 'place for everything' is a start, and I've tried to begin to teach him memory tricks (like associating things with a strong visual image) to help.

I have no idea how he will cope at junior school Or maybe it will be the 'wake up' call he needs

Biglips Mon 12-Mar-07 08:45:38

my 7 yrs old SD is ssoooo forgetful too as once we were all ready to go out, SD had her gloves, hat, coat on but no shoes!!!!!???? she forgot!

CODalmighty Mon 12-Mar-07 08:49:19

i htink they can rememerb the thigns that count odnt hey
like yuh gi oh farking cards

ghosty Mon 12-Mar-07 09:39:20

ROFL Cod ... here it is farking makes of cars ... he knows every single make of car in the world just about, what country that make is from, names of models blah blah ...
He also remembers all the names of all the current All Blacks and the NZ cricket team ...
But where the hell is his blardy cricket BAT???? Hey? Hey?

And we have lost a DVD from the Video shop ... have had to have the load extended for 3 weeks now - he had it, he was the only one that watched it. He watched it on one TV. Once. It is GORN!

And my house, although no show home, is not a complete mess ...

[pulling hair out emoticon]

CODalmighty Mon 12-Mar-07 09:40:15

you nee to establish slow routines ot eahleavign house kidn of scenario
i did a visual thing of what we needed to haev done before we went to shcool
minimise all other distaraction wheilst that goes on

ghosty Mon 12-Mar-07 09:46:29

Oh cod, I do, I do, I do [pulls out more hair]
I am sooooo relaxed in the morning you wouldn't believe it ... If I was any MORE laid back I would be dead.

Everything is in order at home to go to school - I gently encourage him to remember things and do checklists as we leave the house. He usually gets to school with everything. But then forgets that he has it.
He has had a reading book in his bag for days that he was supposed to hand in. I remind him every morning (I was away Thurs/Fri last week). Last week I wrote a note and put it in his lunch box. Today I wrote it on his hand. He still forgot.

Iota Mon 12-Mar-07 09:49:25

my 7 yr old is just the same ghosty - he has a phenomenal memory for things that interest him, but forgets everything else

Anchovy Mon 12-Mar-07 10:08:27

This is interesting. My DS is 5. He is bright and good natured but can be very dreamy and on occasions has little to no concept of where his belongings are.

We have just had a parents evening and his work was fantastic as we expected BUT the teacher said he really had to concentrate on listening and remembering things.

She said she was having a huge crackdown on the whole class now and for the next term so that when they went into Year 1 they were better able to take responsibility for themselves, to work independently and to account for all their possessions. Her view was that this was one of the absolutely key skills they needed to pick up in Reception, equally as important as the reading and writing. Accordingly we were to keep reiterating key things, make sure DS was listening to the things we told him to do, make sure he understood exactly where his possessions were etc etc. She was very keen on the "consequences" point and thought it was a key way of getting the message home.

I think the idea is that by the time they get to 7 all of them are pretty well drilled in this. It'll be interesting to see if it works.

<Fat chance with DS emoticon>

fennel Mon 12-Mar-07 10:10:41

my nearly 7 yo girl is desperately vague and forgetful. Loses a school sweatshirt almost every week. She's always been like it, I suspect she always will be. Teacher crackdowns don't really make much difference.

puddle Mon 12-Mar-07 10:11:28

My ds is not too bad but I have been thinking I take far too much responsibility for getting his stuff together for school and I regularly have to go into the cloakroom to fish out a variety of sweatshirts, hats etc he has left at school and never brings home.

I may start a new regime - visual aid sounds like a good idea.

Anchovy Mon 12-Mar-07 10:12:38

Fennel - our school jumpers cost thirty five sodding quid, so I'm keen to do anything that makes DS remember where his is. We lost one on its very first outing!

puddle Mon 12-Mar-07 10:14:49

at £35

I would be a Very Bad Shouty Mummy if my ds's school uniform cost that much - what a trigger for conflict!

fennel Mon 12-Mar-07 10:16:51

Ours are only 7 quid. Luckily. I have tried having just one so that when she loses it she HAS to find it, that's worked quite well til just lately, the last one has been missing without trace for over a week now.

princesscc Mon 12-Mar-07 10:21:09

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I have 11 year old dd and it doesn't get any better!!! I have lost count of the times I have to go all the way back to school with her glasses now! Do you think that maybe we lose sight of the fact they are kids and maybe they still need to be told everything? But when do you start trusting that they haven't forgotten anything. My dh still forgets his lunch sometimes and I put his car keys on top of it!!

Anchovy Mon 12-Mar-07 10:25:28

We bought 2 in September (about 3 sizes too large to get our money's worth!). DS lost one of these on the very first day he wore it (it was named). We went for 3 weeks with ony 1 jumper which was repeatedly sponged and washed, then gave in and bought another one. The original jumper, of course, turned up the next day. <I now have nearly £100-quids worth of school jumper emoticon>

I gave DS a serious talking to about uniform, with the entertaining side-effect that he now regularly brings home extra bits of other people's uniform as well just in case!

Fortunately DD is going to the same school and the jumpers are unisex!

fennel Mon 12-Mar-07 11:55:46

My DP is forgetful too - very like dd1.

I am training my 5yo dd2 (who's got a good memory and is well organised) to hunt down her big sister's clothes etc at school. she's much more reliable than DP or dd1.

shimmy21 Mon 12-Mar-07 12:06:08

ds2(8) isn't like this at all. very organised little chap - no idea where he gets it from.

Ds1 (10) now that's another story. he could rival your ds in the forgetfulness world cup. Once he had to go into school early for a music lesson. I reminded him at the school gate and watched him walk across the playground. Did he go to the lesson? Of course not. By the time he had crossed the playground he'd forgotten and just went straight to his classroom so missed his lesson. Didn't even ask himself why he was sitting alone in the class

ghosty Mon 12-Mar-07 18:41:34

I spoke to my mother last night and she howled with laughter. She had tears running down her face, she said.
She said that I was the most dreamy, forgetful child on the planet until I went to University
She reminded me of the time when we were on holiday in Spain and my older brother (13) and I (8) went for a walk. My brother fell and cut his arm really badly on some broken glass. He told me to run back to the apartment to get mum. There was blood literally pouring out if his arm. So off I went.
10 minutes later my brother staggered into the apartment trailing blood. My mother was horrified, knowing nothing about it. No one knew where I was. My sister was sent to look for me while my mother took my brother to the hospital. I was found wondering around the apartment complex picking flowers and singing to myself - I think I even had a beautiful daisy chain crown on my head having forgotten completely about my brother and the fact that he could potentially have been bleeding to death

So, I don't know where DS gets it from

ghosty Tue 13-Mar-07 03:19:13

So, this morning I waved goodbye to DS at the door. He packed his own bag but I did a check list with him: Lunch box, check, library bag, check, reading bag, check, morning tea, check.

I saw him put his drink bottle in his bag. I saw him zip it up.

He was picked up by a friend (peeing with rain this morning) and taken the 1km up the hill to school.

I got a text from my friend later saying "Just found your DS's drink bottle in my car. Will drop it round later" [grrrrr] so he had lost it in the 60 second trip to school [grrrrrr] which meant he spent the day without a drink .... <<sigh>>
He did say when I picked him up that he had a drink from the fountain but I like him to have a drink with him all day.

THEN when he had finished his homework just now (4pm) I noticed his hands were filthy. I asked him to go and wash his hands properly. Off he went. Came back a few minutes later. I glanced at his hands - no change. "Did you wash your hands when I asked you?" I said. "No," He replied, looking confused, "I brushed my teeth!"

He had arrived in the bathroom, couldn't remember why he was there so decided to brush his teeth .... honestly, I give up! [exasperated]

Mummypumpkin Tue 13-Mar-07 14:46:22

My ds1 is 7 and he is exactly the same. He no longer loses his school jumpers any more - I've told him if he loses it he pays for a replacement!

Bamzooki Wed 14-Mar-07 12:15:29

Thank god for that - I thought my dd (9) was the only one who could be that bad. Was convinced I had been doing something wrong in the mother stakes to have created such a wafty dreamy child, who can usually only retain an instruction/reminder etc for about 5 secs. Ds (3.10) is totally the opposite, - he even complains when his dvd's are upside down on the shelf..
I do find though that making sure we have eye conact, and asking her to repeat what I have just said does help. At least then I know she has actually heard me, rather than just waited for mummy's words to stop before she carried on with what she was doing! Only part of the battle I know, but an important one.
Beyond that I have decided that it is too stressful for me, and demoralising for her to make a big deal out of it (apart from when she leaves her flute behind), and to just try and accept it as a slightly down side of her otherwise wonderfully sweet nature.

MamaMaiasaura Wed 14-Mar-07 15:01:17

Just completed relived by this thread. Ds (7) forgets somethi ng from school nearly everyday and is always the last to come out. He has a fab memory but he day dreams and things get forgotton..

ernest Wed 14-Mar-07 15:20:36

Not read rest of thread, soory, but yup, I have 7 yr old and he is a disaster. MInd you, so am I. And dh is even worse, so I don't think it's an age ting in our house, unfortunately. Made me laugh op, cos could've been ds1. Every day he forgets/ loses something. without fail

puddle Wed 14-Mar-07 15:29:08

ooooh have just remembered I was going to do a timetable and list for my ds - that's a job for the weekend I think!

kittywaitsfornumber6 Wed 14-Mar-07 16:11:54

It's hard to say. I've one that forgets what he's going to do within seconds of being asked and another with the memory of an elephant.

hk78 Wed 14-Mar-07 20:43:26

my dc's are the same and actually so am i. sorry to be such a cliche, but have you tried the fish oil/eye-q/omega 3/6 whatever, i started getting them for the dc's and now we are all on them! they do help. (and with moods as well)
i don't know if it's normal or not, probably is, there's a lot going on in the minds at that age isn't there.

SofiaAmes Thu 15-Mar-07 04:00:06

ghosty, I have the same ds. Mine is 6 and is so forgetful that if I don't tell him to take his pj's off, he will put his clothes on over them!!!! I have developed a set of systems that I hope will try to help him cope with life given that he will not have his mummy around forever to remind him to do things.
I try to give him the minimum amount of separate things to take to school so he just doesn't have too much to remember. For example, he has the option of buying his milk at school, so I let him do that instead of giving him a thermos, so he has one less thing to keep track of. And everything goes into one backpack. I also try to give him the same thing everyday, (ie I give him a long sleeve shirt even when it's too warm for him to need one, so he doesn't get out of the habit of having to remember it). I try to set up patterns of things to do and always have him do them in the same order, so that they become habit rather than something he has to remember. eg, get up, get dressed, put shoes on, make bed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, collect backpack, leave house. Come home, do homework, wash hands, eat dinner, put pj's on, brush teeth, read book, go to bed. I also try to stick to the routines on the weekend as well, even if there is no reason to get dressed before breakfast....I never give ds more than a list of two or three tasks to do. He just won't remember them. Funnily enough ds remembers obscure scientific facts and things I told him years ago. My father and my brother are exactly the same way, so I have no hope of it being a "phase."

ghosty Thu 15-Mar-07 18:13:23

A 'Checklist' has gone on the wall by the front door.

What he needs in his bag under headings: Everyday: Lunch, drink bottle, reading bag, Homework
Monday Swimming togs
Tuesday swimming togs
Wednesday Swimming togs/Soccer kit
Thursday Drama gear
Friday Library bag

It's worked quite well this week It has got a clipart picture/symbol next to each item too ... visual aid ...

cazwaz Fri 16-Mar-07 10:02:50

Sorry but my nephew is 11 now and still is forgets everything! Unless its to do with football.

thisisdavina Fri 16-Mar-07 12:39:05

Yes, 7 year old boys are often forgetful.

My 7 year old ds forgot that it was not ok to attempt to cut his own hair.

And now has a very tragic looking fringe...

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