I am experiencing some heart wrenching times with my very gorgeous and clever 10yr old son whom I adore.
He is very close to his bio father - think absent minded professor mad scientist, eclectic improvising musician type man, lovely guy.
I am living with dp for 4 yrs, he and ds are close but not affectionate, no need as ds has awesome relationship with his dad who he sees often.
Problem being we are picket fence, regular routine kind of a couple, ds's dad is not, nature is kind of winning in DS and it is driving dp and me mad, so my relationship with ds is in tatters, he hates himself, I hate him at times, I'm always bitching, telling him off.
Thing is he is an awesome kid, not a tearaway, he excels at school, he is wonderful, but we are not clicking anymore.
I have a 20 mth old dd as well who requires a lot of attention , not least due to a genetic condition which requires home physio etc...
I'll try not go on too much, what I want is some advice, by email or someone to talk to, not like a cousellor who will tell me how to parent... but someone like a surrogate best friend or older mum sort of thing. To let me know the peaks and troughs of bringing up pre teens and what I can offer him to get him through.. and me too..
I am asking exp to take ds for next school year, to live with him before going on to sec school with us... it is really hurting me inside, but I cannot see me making him feel better without breaking the negative cycle we have got into.
I really feel like a poor mother, and I know lately I have been... I canot seem to lift myself out of it with him... DP takes his lead from me so we are just in hell hole right now.
DS is writing songs and poetry and stuff about how he is a disgrace and should leave, that nobody loves him, I am trying to bolster him up but knowing that I've done it, makes me feel like I cannot know how to fix him again.
Can anyone identify at all?
Thanks in advance and sorry for such a depressing post.
xx J the kiwi piffle
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Behaviour/development
Experienced mums of over 10's for advice please
22 replies
Piffleoffagus · 03/07/2004 17:27
OP posts:
beetroot ·
03/07/2004 23:22
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