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Behaviour/development

why ask nicely, when you can just SHOUT instead!

6 replies

itsybitsy · 22/02/2007 15:02

I am at the end of my tether with the situation at home with my two boys - 6 & 2 years. I will ask my ds1 politely if he could get dressed, or wipe his nose, or which cereal would he like for breakfast, and I get ignored completely through several 'nice' asks, until I end up shouting - and immediately get a response! I just feel maybe I should start out shouting, and miss out the frustrating stage.

Is this a boy thing? My 6 yr old is always deeply into his own thing - a book, cutting a toy open to 'fix' it, winding up his little brother - whatever it is, he gets so engrossed he ignores me. He is also not bothered about me shouting - think he thinks it's just fine, whereas I hate noise and the conflict we have. Any advice?

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Othersideofthechannel · 22/02/2007 15:19

Assume you have no doubt he can hear properly?
There is definitely something about boys being so concentrated on what they are doing they don't hear us. But he may be doing it deliberately.
I usually say to DS 'Would you like cereal a or cereal b for breakfast?' and then when there is no response, 'I assume you don't mind. I'll choose on your behalf.' That gets him to react and say what he wants.
Haven't worked out a strategy if it is not a question yet.
T

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Caligula · 22/02/2007 15:21

Hmm I have this. Will watch with interest. I like the "I assume you don't mind. I'll choose for you then" approach, will try that later on on DS.

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itsybitsy · 22/02/2007 15:43

Hadn't thought about a hearing issue - hearing tests been fine but not sure how sensitive they are. I'm sure ds1 responds really quickly if I ask whether he'd like some tv, or ice-cream for tea, so think it must be selective hearing loss!

Am struggling with 'please' and 'thank you' - have to remind ds1 almost every time and find it so frustrating.

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Caligula · 22/02/2007 15:45

Oh God the please and thank you thing - so boring - he used ot be fine with it, this is a recent development, needing to be prompted every time

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Othersideofthechannel · 22/02/2007 17:58

"I'm sure ds1 responds really quickly if I ask whether he'd like some tv, or ice-cream for tea, so think it must be selective hearing loss!"
DS (4 next week) is like this! And so is DH! It must be a bloke thing!