What do I do next

[Mumontheedge3]

Looking for a bit of advise from other mums as am at my wits end and don't know what to do next I son is 9 years old and his behaviour is out of control won't listen to me at all even refusing to do his school work in class when he doesn't get his own way he will throw tantrums like a two year old even nips his skin thumps things I have tried every aspect to try and controlling this from rewards for good behaviour bribing him if he be good even went to school for help but nothing working I am struggling as I have two other children aged 4 and three dad in and out of thier life's thought this was the trigger but even when dad about it still the same I don't keep well at times and also recently lost my mother so have a lot going on ATM please anyhelp would be great I just feel like I spend every min of every day telling off and am much as I love him I am struggling to tolerate this anymore I just want my sweet boy back to the pleasant boy I know he can be

[minipie]

How long has this been going on?

What does his school say about his behaviour?

[Mumontheedge3]

It has been going on about 3 months or more and an everyday occurrence school has tried to help me by talking to him also but to no avail his books are covered with bad comment work not complete etc