"Immature" Child

[lacklustremum]

I'm after any advice here as I'm a bit lost.

My DD is 11 and my eldest, she started a new school this academic year and they have said a few times now that they feel she is quite immature for her age.

I honestly don't know what to think, as she's my eldest I don't have anything to go by, I'm not sure I totally agree. She is into Make-up and giggles about boys, her general attitude seems fine to me. The hormones are kicking in and she can be mardy at times.

What do you think they mean by immature? as they aren't explaining anything just saying it even after me asking (one example, she loves to make things and recently made a model car for a couple of teddies, the school stated this is something they feel a 7 year old would do, I just thought it was quite imaginative) . I did ask them how you "mature" a child....

To save drip feeding, she does suffer from meltdowns now and again and struggles with anxieties, some social situations and understanding the context of comments, i.e. comments that most people would brush off she will take extremely personally and this leads to a melt down. We are trying to get her assessed to see if there is any reason for this, but it is a slow process.

I just want her to enjoy her new school and get on as well she can but this seems to be a stumbling block atm.

TIA

[user1477282676]

Well they're all different aren't they? I have a 12 year old and she's very mature which brings a whole host of problems. To be frank I'd be very happy if mine was making models for teddies! I was like that as a child...still wanted dolls at 12-13.

Do they mean she's immature in a social way? How are her friendships?

[lacklustremum]

That's what I thought, that they are all different!

She does struggle with friendships, some of this is due to her struggling to interpret comments some times.

When she's in meltdown mode she will say everyone hates her and she has no friends, but when she's not (which is most of the time) she will be playing with the other kids and enjoying things. She will make lists in meltdown listing all her "hates" but when you show them to her outwith these times she almost seems embarrassed by what she's written.

I have ordered her book "What to do when you worry too much" , which has some good reviews from both parents and kids. But other than trying to talk her through things, I'm at a loss what else to do.

[TeenAndTween]

My DD has also just started y7 and we think she is immature for her age.

• She hasn't yet developed 'teen' interests
• She doesn't take criticism/failure maturely (goes into fight or flight mode)
• When making social approaches to others it is done e.g. by calling across a car park, and not really noticing if the others are sending out 'negative' vibes
• likes cuddly toys, younger age TV

I don't know what can be done, apart from help her try to find friends at the same level. Perhaps our DDs could be friends?