Best way to deal with a sweary toddler?

(48 Posts)
RedStripeLassie Sat 12-Nov-16 19:26:27

Please help. Dd is three and has a habit of swearing, in context if things aren't going right. "Fucks sake" and "fucking hell" being he favs at the moment. She knows now that she'll get a reaction from me so is on repeat till I say something. Do you completely ignore and let her get bored of saying it without any noticeable reaction or explain they're bad words gently or just tell her off. I'm trying a clumsy mix of the three at the moment and I think I'm making it worse.

Artandco Sat 12-Nov-16 19:30:01

Well, maybe you need to stop saying it? A 3 year old doesn't say that unless he hears often from somewhere

RedStripeLassie Sat 12-Nov-16 19:31:23

I know. We're I'm working on that but sadly the damage has been done.

Ohwoolballs Sat 12-Nov-16 19:32:07

At least it's in context. I think you'll have to start replacing words "Bubbles!" Is a good one.

Miloarmadillo1 Sat 12-Nov-16 19:35:28

Where is she hearing it? If you are sure she is saying it deliberately for the reaction you ignore at the time and have an (apparently unrelated) chat about nasty words at another time. I'd be pretty shocked to hear a 3 yr old using those words! It's a bit rich to expect her to hold her tongue when someone around her clearly can't.

RedStripeLassie Sat 12-Nov-16 19:41:43

It's mainly from dh and partly from me. Dh uses fuck in every other sentence without even realising it!
I'm guilty of swearing if I drop something or hurt myself.

It definitely deliberate and in context from her. I'm trying to make fucking 'ducking' and shit 'ship'.

BratFarrarsPony Sat 12-Nov-16 19:43:51

stop swearing in front of him obviously...

My dad used to swear a lot but stopped when I was about 2 and i was seen kicking the doormat and shouting 'this fucking doormat'!

use some other ing word instead..

RedStripeLassie Sat 12-Nov-16 19:51:04

I've curb the swearing. It's more about how do I react (or don't) when she swears so she stops.

Yoarchie Sat 12-Nov-16 19:52:59

You need to replace the swear word.

You drop something and instead of "fucking hell" you say "ringing bell" (but with the sort of cross tone you would use with fucking hell) so that you train the toddler subconsciously that they got the pronounciation wrong when they said fucking hell.

BratFarrarsPony Sat 12-Nov-16 19:53:11

ignore

TheUnworthy Sat 12-Nov-16 19:56:09

It's really really not on that your toddler has heard that much swearing op but you know that, too late now.

Anyway, my dd recently started saying something we didn't want her to (she means to say slimy slugs but it comes out like 'slimy slobs' and she yells it in public grin)

Because of the reaction she got the first time she started saying it all the time.

I found that saying no the first time, then completely ignoring afterwards if she carried on worked for us. She doesn't bother now.

TheUnworthy Sat 12-Nov-16 19:58:16

Out of curiousity are you the op who had a park day with her toddler and splif smoking, can swilling other half?

I hope not (because I kind of hoped you would get her out if that situation) but I don't think there are that many toddlers around who can say 'fuck' so well.

RedStripeLassie Sat 12-Nov-16 19:59:50

grin at slimy slobs!
I really know it's not on and just want to make it right. I posted here instead of one of the more active boards cos I didn't want to get a pasting.

RedStripeLassie Sat 12-Nov-16 20:00:41

Yes. Slight name change.

BratFarrarsPony Sat 12-Nov-16 20:01:54

oh yes it's you...
so as well as smoking joints and swilling beer in children's play parks, he also swears his head off in front of the LO?
What a catch.

CaliforniaHorcrux Sat 12-Nov-16 20:01:56

My three year old swears and I cringe but he's living with three teenagers so if other people don't like it they can shove it

gunting Sat 12-Nov-16 20:03:35

Stop swearing in front of them confused

RedStripeLassie Sat 12-Nov-16 20:04:33

Yeah he's a treat. So, about stopping a toddler from swearing.....

TheUnworthy Sat 12-Nov-16 20:05:53

That's a shame op sad you both deserve better.

I'm sad to say, I know you are trying hard, but all the best parenting in the world cannot protect your dd from the start she's getting living with your other half.

I hope you find the strength to do the right thing soon flowers

BroomstickOfLove Sat 12-Nov-16 20:07:29

You already know what you need to go to stop the swearing, which is to leave your husband. I have never, ever, told a poster to LTB on here, but you seem to spend a huge proportion of your parenting time trying to undo the effects of your DH's behaviour. Every day you stay with him, you are showing your child that you accept those values.

DixieWishbone Sat 12-Nov-16 20:09:36

A combination of no reaction and later on explaining that there are words adults use that sound very silly when children use them. Just like adults can drive cars but children wouldn't do a good job at it.

He might stop swearing if he thinks it something he shouldn't be doing until he's 12 or 13. Hopefully by that time he'll understand the difference between swearing in front of people who won't mind it and swearing in front of strangers who could find it offensive.

It's tough if your DP is swearing in front of him because 'do as I say, not as I do' is a confusing concept for children.

Lucked Sat 12-Nov-16 20:10:37

chuck Dp out for good or at least until he gives up drugs and swearing.

Failing that your only option is to teach your child that it is completely unacceptable for her to behave like her dad. So time outs and punishments every single time but you must stay calm and not give the wrong sort of attention. I think it is sad and unfair because it is not her fault but you have to nip it in the bud

Artandco Sat 12-Nov-16 20:10:46

You need to ignore the swearing, distract her and move on

RedStripeLassie Sat 12-Nov-16 20:12:47

I know the obvious is to stop swearing in front of her. But now it's happened how should I react to it?

RedStripeLassie Sat 12-Nov-16 20:13:20

Xpost art I'll give it a go.

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