6yo not getting dressed, also waking up in night

[Leviathan]

My 6 yo is quite amenable to getting dressed but won't engage in any form of helping. I know he can do it as he has done it for PE during reception (they now go to school in their PE kit on PE days) and very rarely for me and DP.

We help him get dressed or put on his pjs but he tries to read books or play with toys while we are helping him and we keep trying to encourage him to be more involved but just meet with trouble and end up relenting in order to get him to school on time. He also refuses to put on his shoes, saying it makes him feel sick. I know he's only 6 and still needs some company/ support but how do we encourage him to be more helpful? (it feels like he was more helpful when he was 2!) any tips appreciated!

he also wakes up most nights and climbs into bed with us saying he is lonely. It is more hassle to get him back to bed so I usually leave him there and go to his bed for the sake of getting some sleep! We have tried putting on more layers and taking him for wee when he wakes up in case that is the reason but nothing seems to work. any tips on this one too?- I would love a full nights sleep (had one on saturday, but it is rare)

he is otherwise happy and healthy...

[Sleeperandthespindle]

Sounds like you need to be somewhat firmer. Children are a 'hassle' at times! There can be space for negotiation but really, by 6 (and otherwise 'happy and healthy' as you say), he should be getting himself dressed!

[Sleeperandthespindle]

Regarding the sleep, have you tried repeatedly taking him back to bed (despite the hassle) or offering incentive (if you sleep in your bed, tomorrow we can...)?

[Sleeperandthespindle]

I suggest reading, and implementing, '1,2,3 Magic'.

[crispandcheesesanwichplease]

This is, apparently quite common with kids of this age, part way between toddler ego and partly cba to do it if my parents will do it for me.

My DC was the same at this age and various people advised that you make sure that all clothes are ready the night before and easy to put on. You get them up, give breakfast, clean teeth etc, then say you've got 10 mins to get dressed then we're going out. Keep a carrier bag by the front door and be ready to scoop up your DC after said 10 mins, in whatever state of dress they are in, put any clothes not on the Dc in the bag and leg it out of the house (As long as they've got underwear on for dignity -which you could do prior to telling them to get dressed).

Apparently it's a very quickly learned lesson and your Dc will be dressed and ready to leave the house on time from that day on!

[Leviathan]

Thanks for replies, he was more helpful at getting dressed for school today, tho still waking up. He says he is scared of ghosts (after watching ghostbusters at his friends). I've suggested he thinks of something nice before he comes into me... we'll see...

[Believeitornot]

My ds is just turned 7 and has quite bad dreams and is scared of the dark.

I was like this as a child so am probably softer on him than many would deem reaonsable. I used to lie awake at night absolutely terrified and no amount of nice thinking would help. I basically had (and stilldo) a very active imagination. I can't watch horror films as they play on my mind for weeks afterwards.

With my ds I don't let him watch anything too scary as he too will have nightmares for ages afterward.

For night wakings, I have some relaxation stories which I pop on and helps him get back to sleep really quickly. I also make sure his room is very cool (but he has thick covers when needed) - when the heating comes on he gets restless and likely to wake. Can you open his window at night?

[Leviathan]

Thanks, I can't work out if he's too hot or cold at the moment! I think it maybe related to needing a wee. He seems to sleep better if I leave his bedside light on- which I'm reluctant to do, will try the story tapes tonight...

[Leviathan]

Been leaving bedside light on at night to see what happens, no disturbance at all. Gonna try leaving it off tonight, see what happens. He said he was afraid of the dark and that is why he was coming....

[TheWindowDonkey]

I'd say that he's not too hot or cold...but that he's clearly just too scared to sleep alone in the dark. How about a nightlight (or two if one is not light enough) instead of the light on if doing that bothers you? We cosleep with our 6 year old still (he has a bed in our room) so I can't really advise you otherwise. I had horrible nightmares as a child of that age and was told I couldnt go into my parents...It didnt help me deal with it at all, just made me scared and lonely...and I still hate the complete dark when sleeping to this day, so I completely get why he wouldnt want to sleep alone! 😀