Should I punish my child for swearing?

(11 Posts)
user1476787665 Tue 25-Oct-16 14:00:16

I hear a lot of young people swearing these days and I don't want my children to get too aggressive in their language but I also want them to fit in. I let them off the occasional swearing but I fear if I tell them off I won't be the "cool mum" that their friends think of me. Pls help.

HairsprayBabe Tue 25-Oct-16 14:03:54

Why do you want you kids friends to think of you as a "cool mum"? If you don't think the language is appropriate tell them that. If you don't care that they swear let them.

Don't let your childrens friends influence how you parent your own children.

mykidslikesharks Tue 25-Oct-16 14:34:48

I think it would depend on the age of your children and where they're getting it from. I know my Johnny (he's 10) has heard some really awful things at school

corythatwas Tue 25-Oct-16 14:45:25

A young child (lower primary age or younger) I would not allow to swear at all- and I would be careful not to swear in their presence.

With an older child I would make it clear that this is about upsetting or offending other people, so they can only swear in settings/company where nobody is likely to be upset or offended. So (assuming we are talking age 10/11 upwards):

swearing in the company of your mates and out of earshot of adults- absolutely fine if that is what you want to do

swearing in earshot of a teacher- not fine and you will quickly find out if you try it

swearing in my hearing- well, I'd rather you didn't

swearing or using careless language in the hearing of elderly relatives - not on

swearing before my Christian friends- not on

Consideration for others, understanding of how others react: these are things I want to teach.

user1476787665 Tue 25-Oct-16 17:31:37

What about letting them watch films with explicit words? My youngest is 3 however he is influenced also by his older siblings aged 7, 15 and 30

Gowgirl Tue 25-Oct-16 17:36:44

Just correct him everytime, a simple that's not a nice word we don't use it ,he will soon catch on....

user1476787665 Tue 25-Oct-16 18:23:42

Gowgirl,
To my 30 year old?

MistressMerryWeather Tue 25-Oct-16 18:28:58

Your 30 year old is older than me for goodness sake.

They shouldn't need you to tell them not to swear in front of a 3 year old.

gillybeanz Tue 25-Oct-16 18:29:10

Nothing to do with being cool but a realist.
Kids will swear, whether we like it or not.
We told ours it was understandable and we knew they would swear with friends in playground.
it was totally unacceptable to swear in front of grown ups and if they were caught at school would have to pay the consequences.
No punishment was ever required, I was/ am not a cool mum.

user1477416355 Tue 25-Oct-16 20:22:16

It is inevitable that children are going to swear, it's the "cool" thing to do but as they get older they will learn what is appropriate. You shouldn't worry about not being a "cool mum" either, you don't need to impress your child's friends. Hope this helpedsmile

toptoe Tue 25-Oct-16 20:28:57

The films with explicit words will be age rated so unsuitable for your 7 and 3 year old. Your 15 year old may experiment and you need to remind when it's appropriate. If they swear at you then some sort of sanction is required. Your 7 year old shouldn't really be swearing at all as they won't have a need for it or interest in it. If they do remind them they don;t need to use those words to tell you how they feel. The 3 year old will simply be parroting and have no idea why it's wrong - best to ignore and then remind you don't use that word.

The 30 year old should be mature enough to know all of the above.

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