2 year old driving me up the wall!

(9 Posts)
ZuzaPa Mon 10-Oct-16 20:17:03

My little one is just 26 months now & everything is a struggle. She won't listen to me at all, she tears through the house pulling everything apart, she has tonnes of toys but wont really play with them, she likes pulling everything out & making a big mess!

She won't get dressed, get her nappy changed, she wont leave the house, walk to the lift, get in the lift, get out of the lift, get in the car, out of the car!!! You get the picture. The whole day is full of cajoling & trying to distract, or make things into a game. When that doesn't work I explain it, we need to do x, if you dont I will carry you etc. Its just so wearing. Going anywhere is exhausting, im constantly chasing her. She gets lots of 1 on 1 playtime with me. I see other children happily sitting in prams or just contentedly shopping with parents & I am run ragged by my lo.

I'm so tired can't think straight over how to even handle it anymore. Think im constantly giving warnings & every single little thing is a battle. Any help?

taxworries Tue 11-Oct-16 07:53:52

How do you tell her what you need her to do? I would give one advance warning like we need to get up and go as soon as mummy is ready/in a few moments. Then when it's time: right we need to go to the car and climb into the seat, can you do it yourself or shall I help you? Etc. So she's had the warning and the chance to do it herself. Then I would manhandle if she mucked about. As it is now nice to be forced maybe she will learn quickly to do it herself. I wouldn't discuss any further as she has had the warnings etc and I would stop the cajoling/bribing/making it into a game. It's something to try anyway? Might be more painful in the short term though... On the toys front try putting away two thirds in a cupboard and see how she goes. You can rotate them when she gets bored of the ones that are out. Sometimes too much stuff and choice overwhelms them (that's what I find with my 2 year old). Sorry if you've already tried these!

cosmicglittergirl Tue 11-Oct-16 08:05:19

I didn't have this with DD1, now 3 but DD2 19m is starting to act like this. I think it's a phase some children go through. I agree with the pp who said to put some toys away, I think some children take a while to learn to 'play' with their toys anyway.
I tell them what's happening, give them a chance to do it then we re doing it anyway and I ignore any crying and tantrums. It mostly works and I don't enter into cajoling. I'm not above offering rice cakes in exchange for getting into the pushchair, but that's it.

T0ddlerSlave Tue 11-Oct-16 20:23:16

I used to relentlessly offer options (sometimes it was X or nothing), always always follow through so winging never worked, and count to 10.

DD was bad between about 20-26 months so hopefully it won't be much longer. She did improve when her language improved.

WilliamHerschel Tue 11-Oct-16 20:47:55

I am going through similar at the moment.

With the toys, I put things away out of sight and bring out a few specific things, puzzles, building bricks, trains, pencils and paper, or her happy land characters etc. I will sit and play with whatever I've brought out and get her involved in it and then usually she will continue playing by herself for a while after. I don't only have one thing out but I have really limited it because I think she was overwhelmed by the choice before and didn't know what to focus on. I change around what we play with every so often and she plays with a lot more variety of things now. She still tips things out and throws stuff but she plays a lot more too.

I have found dressing her as soon as she wakes and is still a bit sleepy makes it less of a battle. I've also let her choose a few new tops and made a big deal out of them so she wants to wear those (sometimes). I try and get away with as few nappy changes as I can to be honest, and try distracting her with the TV or a YouTube video while I change her. And I have read quite a few books about using the potty at the library which I'm hoping will encourage her to use it soon!

I've been trying a bit of reverse psychology "Can dd do XYZ? Dd can't do that, can she?" (Said in a fun way). That works with some things, sometimes. Or sometimes if she runs off and won't come to me I count to five and she (sometimes!) comes running up to me after five.

It is tiring and hard and very full on. I still have a lot of battles but in some things she is getting easier. I think some children are harder than others, though they all have their moments I'm sure. I'm hoping for an easy teen!

mellongoose Wed 12-Oct-16 13:15:37

sometimes if she runs off and won't come to me I count to five and she (sometimes!) comes running up to me after five.
We have this in spades at the moment. She won't come and wants to play chase. If she doesn't come when I count what next??! #pullingmyhairout!

mellongoose Wed 12-Oct-16 13:16:37

Sorry. The first paragraph should have been in bold! Stupid me phone!

WilliamHerschel Thu 13-Oct-16 00:50:53

If my dd doesn't come when I count and stuff I usually end up running after her (at which point she will run further away from me, laughing away at this great game of chase), until I catch up with her, pick her up and carry her in the general direction I want to go, until she starts walking with me. Today (after a brilliant game of chase...sarcasm) I caught up with her, told her off for running away and said she must not do that, and walked holding her hand for a while and when I let go she was happy to continue walking with me. That's the longest she has ever happily held my hand. I don't know, perseverance and trying different things, and hope that one day they'll start doing what they are told.

I went in a shop with my dd today. Normally she sees shops as a massive playground but today I put her in the buggy before hand, she asked to get out as soon as we entered the shop. I had a serious word wth her that she could come out but she had to stay with mummy and if she ran off she was going straight back in. And she actually seemed to understand and listen to me. It was the best experience I've had with her in a shop ever. I'm hoping it's a sign of better things to come but I won't get too excited!

justpeachy74 Sat 15-Oct-16 22:07:59

You LO sounds a lot like my just turned 2 year old. It is exhausting! I was just about to post a similar question when I saw yours. Thank you.
Everyone else seems to have contented and manageable toddlers compared to mine. She's completely adorable but such a handful.
I'm sorry I'm not any help but you're not alone!

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