Only listening to one parent

(1 Post)
KellyBoo800 Thu 29-Sep-16 19:53:34

Lengthy but trying not to drip feed!

I'm a stepmum to a lovely little 6 year old girl, who I adore. Me and her dad have been together 5 years and married for one, and I met her after we had been dating for almost a year.

She is with us for 6 nights a fortnight - from Wednesday after school until school drop off on Tuesday morning. The nights she is with us, she goes twice to childminders after school and then I do the other two school runs. My DH does the school run every morning she is with us.

Because of our work patterns (I'm an early bird, DH doesn't start til much later) I spend more time with DSD than he does. He gets up at 7am, and they leave for school at 8am, and every morning is a battle. For me however, when I pick her up from school (and spend early mornings with her at the weekends whilst DH sleeps in a bit later- only until 8ish) she is a complete angel.

DH is starting to pick up on the fact that she listens to me a lot more than she listens to him, and it's really upsetting him. Deep down I know it's because I spend more time with her - I'm a bit more laid back than her dad is but have expectations that arent really negotiable (she sets the table for dinner, helps tidy up afterwards, does her homework as soon as we get in from school) - she does whatever I ask her to do without a fuss. But with her dad it is always such a battle!

I know he would spend more time with her if he could but his work hours are not flexible - he's lucky to do the school runs every morning but that means he doesn't get home until just before her bedtime.

I should also add that I love the time I spend with her. She's very independent so doesn't need anyone to get up with her in the mornings to get her breakfast or anything, but often asks me if I will come downstairs and keep her company, which I always will. I also love doing the school runs - I know stepparenting threads can often turn into "Why are you doing that?" But it's what works for our family. I'd rather do it myself than her have to go to the childminder more.

I don't know how to help my DH when he is trying so hard. I also don't know if this is just a normal dynamic where children tend to listen to one parent more than the other?

I don't really even know own what I'm looking to get out of this thread, I'm just at a loss as to what I should do!

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