2.5 yr old crying about nursery

[Rachie1986]

Evening,

Sure this must have been done before, maybe I've not found the right section.

Dd is 2.5 (actually 2.7). Previously looked after by family when both me and husband working. We think she needs some socialising and is fairly "with it" so wanted to put her in nursery/preschool. Also my working hours split up more than previously so can't use family all the time.

Anyway, she's started 2 mornings a week. We've had 3 sessions. Session 1 cried when left and a couple of times during morning. Session 2 cried before I took her and for an hour after I dropped off. Session 3 "still very tearful".

Nursery staff don't seem concerned at the moment.

Tonight she's been crying about being left tomorrow, so it's started already. She is always upset about being left, not the actual nursery.

I expected her to cry to start with but not this much for the length of time or so much in advance.

Any advice? How to help her settle? What to say/do/not do? When to give up (not an option really as I'm working sometimes she's there).

Feeling a tad saddened by it all :-/

[Ferguson]

Is she able to say what she doesn't like about it? Or does she just prefer to be with you?

If the nursery allow it (and they certainly ought to) can she take a doll/teddy/cuddly blanket to comfort her?

Find out what she does at nursery, who she plays with, what toys or activities she seems to like, or joins in with, so you can 'share' her experiences. Ask staff or a key worker if they have any ideas how to help (although they may say she is fine during the day). Is she OK with 'snack time', lunch, toilets etc?

[panad317]

It'a a massive change for her, of course she's going to be upset. But it will be so good for her once she starts enjoying it.
DD started in a crèche when she was 6 months, so was used to leaving me. She started nursery 3 weeks ago and cried every morning for the first week (I thought she'd be fine)
I stopped asking her what she'd been doing, who she'd been playing with etc. And didn't mention anything the night before. I spoke to the staff over e-mail, on her 4th day she came out with a teddy from nursery that she had to return on the Monday. She loved it! And went in on the Monday morning with the teddy and some photos of what she'd been doing with him over the weekend. She's been fine since and now will tell me what she's been doing and asks to go.
Try not to worry, I'm sure she'll settle.

[user1474462943]

My son cried every day for the first 4 weeks of nursery (he started on morning sessions 4 days a week) I thought it was hopeless and by the end of week 3 I was leaving in tears as soon as he was out of sight. He loved the nursery and would cling to the staff when I left. He couldn't say anything bad about being there (he was 3 when he started) only that he wanted me to stay with him. Anyway, by the end of week 4 he started to calm down and at the start of week 5 he went in and settled and started playing with other children and was happy going. Then moved him to 3 full days so I could work 16 hours a week which actually made him more settled! I hope your daughter settles soon, children can be anxious starting new things. I would advise sending her in with a toy or maybe her favourite snack to look forward to mid morning and really praise heavily about how big she is when she goes in without getting upset.
Good luck, I know it's heartbreaking for you!

[maisybobbins]

I think crying for a few weeks is completely normal, though I'm not sure about the advance tears. My DS turned a corner when he took his own plate and cup in for snacks and meals. Nursery staff suggested it, just a little bit of home going with them.

Don't give up