Potty training nearly 3yo

[Queazy]

My dd's nursery say she needs to be potty trained to go to preschool, and she's just gone up a class. We've now had her out of nappies for 4 days and all her wee's have been 'accidents' but she's poo'd on the potty. I don't think she's ready but nursery think she is. Are accidents just par for the course for a few weeks? Rewards don't seem to change anything and she doesn't seem very bothered when she has an accident that's a wee. I'm very careful not to pressurise her too much or to get at all cross, of course, but any tips or resources anyone can point me toward would be appreciated.

p.s. I ask every 15-30min if she needs a wee and get her to sit on potty for ages each time. She'll still get up, wander around and have an accident though. This is my first time potty training so just not sure if I'm supporting her ok!!

[Cliffdiver]

What does she do when she wets herself? Is she aware of what she's doing? If not, I would say she's not ready.

When I potty trained my 2 DDs (DD1 at 2.9 and DD2 at 2.2) I was sure they were ready and they didn't have many accidents.

Does she tell you she needs to use the toilet/potty at all?

[Cliffdiver]

Oh, tips:

Sticker chart?

DD2 loved going to toilet at the same time as me so we would go to the bathroom together, me on toilet her on potty and hold hands

Reading lots of potty training books helped DD1 I would read in a super-excited voice when we got to the bit about the characters doing a wee in the potty

Bribery! DD1 and DD2 would get a chocolate raisin every time they did a wee

[Queazy]

She says she needs a wee but has already wet herself or wee's on the floor immediately. I'm a bit cross with nursery as they made a big deal of throwing away her nappy and said she can't have one in preschool but I'm just not convinced she's ready. It's only day 4 though, and she is nearly 3. It's tricky to know what to do.

[Queazy]

I hadn't thought of toilet at the same time as me. We're using rewards but it hasn't made a difference yet

[havalina1]

My daughter is 2.9 and not potty trained yet - we might give it w go next week. I'd be cross with nursery too!

[fruitpastille]

All have my kids had lots of accidents in the first week. I don't think they ever would have been 'ready' off their own bat. I think it's one of those things that some children grasp straight away and others need time and lots of encouragement. Like weaning/learning to read etc etc.

I would get her to sit on the potty every hour or so and also sit her on it whenever she has an accident to get the association and then lots of praise when you are lucky enough to get something. And maybe a smartie/sticker.

[Reallyhard]

I've just potty trained my DD - I tried at the start of July and she was not ready (cried when I put her in pants, refused to go on the potty) so I left it. Tried again at the start of August and she got it immediately. A few weeks can make a big difference.

However if she's not getting upset and you want to persevere for another couple of days just keep trying her regularly on the potty and hopefully you'll catch a wee soon.

Also, if you can, watch her like a hawk and when she does start to wet herself lift her as quickly as possible and put her on the potty anyway - even if you only catch a couple of drips in it you can sing, clap and cheer for her getting those in the potty, which hopefully will encourage her to do more for you.

[CatsCantFlyFast]

Personally I think putting them on the potty to wait for a wee doesn't help - they spend lots of time on the potty without anything happening and get bored/frustrated. I know it works for others but it didn't for us. The only time I asked DD to sit on the potty was before we went out. The rest of the day I left entirely to her.

I'm not debating whether she's ready or not but our first few days was just DD weeing on the floor. It felt like this was the thing that taught her to recognise/listen to the signs she needed a wee

Good luck

[Reallyhard]

Also, give her loads of water/juice so she's peeing lots - more chance of catching something in the potty.

If you have no progress with her in the next week or so you should speak to nursery and explain that you have tried to potty train and ask to see their policy about children in nappies. My DS was born with a problem with his bowel which could mean he is delayed with toilet training. I'm fully anticipating having to have conversations with nursery when he reaches that stage about their policy - not sure yet what it is.

[Normandy144]

I think it depends on how she is? Is she crying or getting upset if you ask her to go etc? I tried to potty train my DD when she was 2.10 and it was a disaster. Every single wee was an accident, there were loads and she seemed to have no control. It got very fraught and there were lots of tears. We gave up after a day and a half. I tried again when she was 3.2 and it made a huge difference. It took about 6 days but she made huge improvements each day.

[Queazy]

Thanks so much all. She's ok with having accidents and it doesn't seem to bother her. I did say to her we needed to use the potty at her grandpas today because we didn't want to wee on their carpet, and she didn't wee at all all day. She then used the potty when we got home. I feel awful that she kept trying to wee there but obviously couldn't and waited until we go home about 6hrs later!!! She did it though, and it give me hope for tomorrow and for gradually cracking it.

Your messages have helped enormously - thanks very much for your help. I don't think we should have started right now, but think I'll continue as long as it's not upsetting her.