Dont know which way to turn - 10 year old cant play out coz of bullies(2 Posts)
Sorry in advance as longish post as want to put all info which maybe helpful for those giving advice.
My son always seems to have displayed slight 'oddness' at times but not enough for anyone else to say he is on any spectrum etc. Has one good friend at school. Small school, 18 in class, 10 of which are boys. All like football apart from my ds and his one friend. Most of the boys have taken against him in last couple of years but not against his friend. My DS has struggled with dealing with name calling, general kids behaviour etc. He gets very wound up and can very much pver react to situations and always has done. I guess coz they get a reaction that's why they tease and have a go at him all the time. There are 4 boys in particular on our estate who are always out, hanging about park/shops etc. If my ds walks to local shop on own, they have even gone after him there rather than leave him alone. He has had black eye off them before. He does try and give back as much as he gets.
Other thing is, he lies a lot too. I never can work out sometimes whats the truth and whats not. Def a problem at school. Headmaster keeps ds in computer room at lunchtime to avoid issues with other boys outside and this year has split his class which will be y6 into 2 so that ds and a few others are being put with some of Y5 and rest of y6 with the boys that bully him in, in class on their own. Headmaster has advised he has done this to try and settle the class as has had issues with bullying amongst the few girls also.
Yesterday when walking dog we saw couple girls from his class and one boy playing. He joined in and I carried on home. Next thing I know, he comes home saying they have now joined in bullying him, that they wouldn't give him water gun and drenched him. I encouraged him to go back out with his water gun and just have fun. 20 mins later he came home ok upset with his water gun broken saying the others had done it and had go at him. As a mom I wanna believe him and stick up for him but cant tell quite whats going on.
He has extreme fears at times like about asteroids hitting earth. He has been around cancer a lot and so the other day went to drs about stomach ache (I knew he was fine) but indulged him in the end,.
ANy ideas, sorry I could go on for ages with examples but just not sure how to deal with this. I don't want him to miss out on normal childhood of having fun and playing out but he just wont go out at all now unless with me.
I'd move him to a bigger school. Being weird isn't a problem when you've got a choice of many kids to play with, but when the pickings are slim....it makes life harder for him.
The lying is probably a coping mechanism. Both in order to persuade himself that things aren't as bad as they are, or to attempt to incite some interest from his peers.
Bullying is a horrible thing to live through. I'd be jumping through hoops to get him somewhere less insular where the staff actively attempt to resolve rather than just hide your DS in a computer room.
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