DS (10) very anxious - want to help.

[zzzzzzzzzzzz]

My 10yo DS is a sensitive little chap. He's never been a boisterous boy.

Recently though he's been suffering from anxiety. It's usually at bedtime and has become a real problem when he stays at his Dad's house (every fortnight). He's been going there every fortnight since he was 3.

We've started Skyping in the evening for half an hour at bedtime when he's there, which I think he appreciates, but last night as we were saying goodbye he had a panic attack.

I've had them myself, all my adult life. We breathed together for a bit and he got it under control, but it was horrible to watch. I've ordered a book about anxiety for children, because he's bright and logical, and I think he'll appreciate understanding the mechanics behind it.

But I wondered if anyone else who has been through anything similar had any insights or advice? It's horrible; I don't want this for him. It took me years to get my panic attacks under control, so anything I can do now to help him manage his anxiety would be great.

Many thanks.

[VioletBam]

Have you spoken to his Dad? I wonder why it's only there he's doing this? Poor DS.

Could you just not send him? I know that's probably not the go...but how hard for you both!

[zzzzzzzzzzzz]

Thanks for your reply Violet.

I have spoken to his Dad. He's feeling pretty rotten about it too, as you can imagine. DS can't put his finger on what brought it on. He is feeling generally quite anxious at the moment, and I think it manifests itself in the homesickness/separation anxiety thing.

Even DS agrees that he wants to go to his Dad's, it's so hard though when he's in such a state.

He is also anxious at home, though a cuddle with me usually helps. He seems reluctant to go to his Dad when he's worried, not sure why. I'm sure his Dad would be sympathetic.

It's very tricky.

[RoughMagic]

Have you sought any help for his anxiety? Your GP would be a good first port of call. They may suggest a CAMHS referral. Sometimes school nurses can also help but it would depend on what kind of services are available in your area.

[zzzzzzzzzzzz]

The school is tiny, no school nurse. SENCO borrowed from another school who we hardly see.

So GP. That was my next port of call to be honest. I've already got a DD going through a CAHMS referral for ASD - we're going to be known as that family! (Attempt at light-heartedness there).