Too Scared to take my 2.5Yr Old out

[Wildtrekker]

I have a 2.5 yr old daughter and am 5 months pregnant. Over the last month she has got really naughty every time we go anywhere. She runs off,(wont wear reins etc)she lies on the floor anywhere and wont move and basically screams& tantrums etc. I am pulling my hair out and in tears with her. She is heavy to lift now im getting bigger. My hubby obviously has to work and I often feel very alone. I think every one must think Im a bad mother when we go out and feel everyone talking about me. Can anyone reasure me that this is just the terrible two's?

[Elasticwoman]

This is absolutely normal behaviour for a child of that age, I remember it well. Except I had a baby at that stage, not a bump. Have you read any books on toddler behaviour, eg Toddler Taming by Christopher Green? They might give you a few strategies. It all depends on your circumstances so there's no point in my suggesting anything, except - have you considered inviting people round to your house instead of going out?

Re your fear that others may think you a bad mother: when I see children misbehaving I don't judge the parents by the child's behaviour but by the way they are dealing with it. Which doesn't mean it isn't best policy to ignore some sorts of bad behaviour, or sometimes let them have their own way.

[Hillary]

Hi there wildtrekker,

I have one of them too, have you tried giving her things to do when out, making it a game and praising her constantly for helping you? I know it sound difficult but I found if you include her in everything like give her the list, let her fetch things and put them in the trolly, give the lady the money etc it really works, it gives her a sense of understanding & helps you rebuild that confidence, she gets your attention in a positive way and will react in a positive manner, she will feel your AAAHHHH vibe and will mimic it. Just think you're not going to have this mummy and me time for a good while after baby no2 arrives so make the most of it

I have the Toddler Taming book by Christopher Green its brilliant and really boosts your confidence. Don't worry your not alone, its really difficult, I have a 9month old too but my dd was the same when i was pregnant, just enjoy having her, she'l soon be all grown up

[peachespaige]

Hello. I dont know if you've seen my thread about being 'racked with guilt', there might be some bits that reasure you on there. I think its all very normal, bloody hard, but normal.

[shhitsasecret]

Perhaps having her in a pushchair when out and about would help.

[Biglips]

wild - ive got a 2.4yrs old and if she wasnt in her buggy - ill be breaking my back by now!! as she is so strong, heavy and a tall girl...the buggy is my life saviour!!

[Biglips]

i do hope u will find a method of calming her down...its can also be the attention she is trying to get it off you whilst ya pg - jealously maybe?

[madmarchhare]

Take pushchair and threaten to put her in it when she starts (and do it).

[Biglips]

yes thats the way to do it as madmarch had said.... i use "If you do it once more..youre going to home and straight to BED!!" my dd straight away shut up - hee hee!!

[Smee]

Absolutely - works for me too. Two warnings then he's into the pushchair regardless of strops, tantrums or whatever else he can throw in my direction. I rarely have to carry it through now as he knows I mean it. What I found helped was not to get cross. Might sound daft, but if I was just calm and explained, but v.firm about it he tended to listen, whereas if I got cross he got even crosser..

[fennel]

It's ever so normal. I took my 2yo screaming to pre-school today, because I strapped her into her buggy and she wanted to ride her trike. Which would have made her sisters late for school. so she screamed and tantrummed. They just do. sigh.

but it feels much worse when you are pregnant. I found toddler + pregnancy far harder than toddler + baby.

[Wildtrekker]

Just wanted to say thankyou to everyone for kind words. I have today received in the post "Toddler Taming: A Parent's Guide to the First Four Years" as recommended and looks great. I will also use the pushchair more. The reason I havent used it as much lately is 'cos she drags her feet on the floor whilst arching her back in it etc etc. I am looking at this whole situation in a more positive, calmer light now. Thankyou!

[Smee]

When my DS did the back arching foot dragging thing, I just used to stop the buggy and refuse to push it until he'd stopped doing it. It worked for me. He never does it now. Though I seem to remember that he called my bluff once, so I had to pretend to walk off down the road pretending to leave him there in his buggy...