7yr old talking about wanting to die.

(7 Posts)
KissMeKate85 Sun 31-Jul-16 17:41:56

My soon to be 7 year old step-daughter's behaviour is really worrying.
She has quite bad mood swings and has severe reactions to being told"no", much like a 2 or 3 year old.
Today she has been at my niece's birthday party and we've had a lovely time and lots of fun.
But when the time came to hand her back, her mum was still out in town. We arranged to meet half way between where her mum was and our house to hand her over.
When my step daughter heard her mum was near to a particular play area she to be dropped off there so she could play. When we told her no her response really startled me.
She started crying briefly and after she'd calmed down started talking about how she wanted to die. The phrase she was " I don't want to be down here anymore". When we asked what she meant she said that she didn't like being "down here" and wanted to be dead.
To be honest she has said this once before but I put it down to attention seeking after a similar incident, although I did worry me.
If my husband was to bring the subject up with her mum it would turn into an argument and his ex would use it to beat him round the head with.
Don't really know how to progress from this.

BITCAT Mon 01-Aug-16 00:11:44

Hmmm sounds like one of 2 things..either she is not getting much disapline at home and doesn't get told no very much or there is actually a possible mental health issue that may need investigating. Is it worth your dp taking her to see her gp or having a word with her school.

KindDogsTail Mon 01-Aug-16 00:25:27

It must be a very confusing time for her - the divorce and her faother remarrying - so she will needs lots of reassurance and love and perhaps family counselling.

If she is saying that does she believe in heaven I wonder?

I would not call this a mental health issue as such, just a child naturally reacting to something she finds difficult and confusing on some level as anyone in her position would.

KarmaNoMore Mon 01-Aug-16 00:42:37

I think this is the sort of thing were both mum and dad need to get to an agreement on how to respond to it.

She may be repeating something that she heard, she may not even understand what she is saying, do not assume immediately that there is a problem in the other house. (But it will be a good idea for her parents to talk about it just to check she is fine)

I think that one of the big challenges of raising a child as separated parents is not to read too much on children's behaviour. For example, I have a close friend whose child is prone to extreme tantrums (he is 10), he refuses to eat anything other than fish fingers and chips. One day he even managed to trick us saying that he always had tea as a drink at home. Well... He doesn't have such tantrums at his mums, he eats better there, and she had never gave him tea as a drink. But he knows that his dad gets upset and do as he says if he pretends to be distraught so... He tries it.

But as I said, it is important for the parents to communicate to ensure there is some consistency on dealing with difficult situations.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KarmaNoMore Mon 01-Aug-16 01:26:43

I think her parents need to talk to each other to find out what is behind this behaviour and to agree how to deal with it.

I wouldn't be assuming she is getting suicidal in the first instance.

KissMeKate85 Mon 01-Aug-16 09:16:48

She was 2yrs 3 months when her parents superstars and he moved out of home. They were never married. I came into the picture 6 months later.
It was obvious straight away that she was struggling with his moving out but over the years this subsided.
She does believe in heaven as she attends church and often talks if God and Jesus. Her grandmother strongly influences her religious beliefs. Although those belief differ significantly from our own.
Part if me does think that she said it mainly for effect but part of me is still unsure.
Her behaviour with us normally is much as described in an above comment where she tries to play us and her mum off against each other. Her mother is sometimes inclined to believe the stories she tells her which aren't true.
I just worry how she is going to develop and how she will be in teenage years.

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