7 year old son exposing himself to me. any advice?

[mytwopenceworth]

title says it all really!

ive tried everything to get him to stop!

he pulls out his willy or drops his trousers and yells mum look.

it is a bit more challenging because of his autism and his language difficulties but unacceptable is unacceptable.

ive tried social stories, punishment, ignoring, distraction....

when i ask him to stop, he gets angry and says things like no out for you mum, or no christmas for you mum or similar or just screams at me.

any insight would be really helpful because i am dreading the day when his lsa collers me to tell me he has exposed himself to her or to a classmate or in assembly or in the middle of an offstead visit or something!!!!

[charliecat]

Would he wear dungarees? Or be allowed to at school?

[mytwopenceworth]

good idea but wouldnt stop him i dont think, he'd just take them off and if we put him into them in such a way that he couldnt (fasten at the back or something) them it takes away his independence re toileting, as he'd need help undressing/dressing.

i need a way to make him understand that while theres nothing wrong with his body, certain parts of it are private.

im at a loss.

[Rhubarb]

He is doing it because he is getting a reaction. I would advise everyone to simply address it in a firm but fair way saying something like "Put that away xxx and sit down please" and just repeat it. Don't give him any other reaction. He'll soon stop when it stops being fun.

[ItsMeMellowma]

Yes I agree with Rhubarb, he is perhaps getting it from school.

Some of the things my 6 year old says he is always singing about boobies and willies and titties, I just look at him and respond as if he is being a silly little boy (which he is) and he soon stops.

[mytwopenceworth]

thanks folks.

he doesnt stop and i fear he never will, thats the problem. i can say these things until im blue in the face but repeating requests to stop just doesnt work - 5 years of dont spread your poo all over the walls taught me that!!! (got to laugh or you'd cry!!!)

broken record technique is a good one and i am continuing to do it, but i'm just not getting anywhere and i, well, i'm having visions of a full grown man flopping his tackle out in asda!

[Rhubarb]

It is trying, but persevere. He may well know that he has broken you before and so this has now become a game. He may even be aware of your anxiety over it.

Don't bother about what other people will think, he is only 7 and if others have a problem with that then the problem is theirs. I think with children you have to adopt this "don't care less" attitude. So that when your ds is rolling around the floor of Asda, screaming and crying, pounding his head on the floor and blocking trollies, you have to narrow your focus and pretend that it isn't happening! I like to block all others from my view and pretend that it's just me and him in the supermarket, it makes it easier then to ignore him.

Then they realise that you really aren't getting embarrassed or anxious about it, that the cause is not having any effect at all. This could take a while, but it will happen and he will stop and then you'll be able to look back and laugh at it all!

[mytwopenceworth]

you may very well be right, he is bloody stubborn and battle of wills is his favourite game!

thank you all

xx

[blissfulmama]

Hi there

Just a quick thought. My brother started doing it at a similar age; he used to dance around the living room pulling down his trousers and he used to run outside in the street and flash at cars. Oh the shame! My Mum was great though, didn't get embarressed and just told me it's because he was probably anxious about things that children in school would say about willies, bums, poo etc. She told me kids will often do this to have reassurance that they are normal but also to test social boundaries, ie work out what is acceptable or not and they often do something more dramatically to see what would happen. Another way to learn for them! Hope that helps.