Been up since 5 with dc3. Feel very stressed. Have no time without the children other than work. No one helps me. I want to die. Feel so sad. My kids are so denanding. I just lost it and took out on her. I feel so bad.
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Behaviour/development
Artistic ·
15/07/2016 10:27
So sorry you are having a tough time. 3 DC & work is a tough combination. But throwing something at DC is not on - you already know that. I hope you've apologised & made sure he/she isn't scared of you. If you need a break you've got to work out a way to give yourself one. It could be a day off work, some help from a friend or just an evening out with friends & a babysitter at home. You sound terribly stressed. You need help. Take care of yourself for your sake & your DC sake. 
missybct ·
15/07/2016 10:30
Please get some help today. You know what you did was not appropriate, but I'm very concerned about you mentioning you want to die - you need to speak to someone this morning to get yourself some help - whether it be a clinician, a friend, a family member - anything to immediately ease off some of that pressure so you can make a more rational and informed decision.
LadyintheRadiator ·
15/07/2016 10:57
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
LadyintheRadiator ·
15/07/2016 11:09
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Sirona ·
15/07/2016 11:10
They are extremely rough ages, I have two of similar ages and spend more of my day than I would like telling them off and shouting 
They would not be better off without you. Can you speak to your dh? Does he get home at a reasonable hour to give you a break?
daisydalrymple ·
15/07/2016 12:04
Just for today give yourself a break. Can you pick a film that will appeal to all three and have a movie evening after school? Get some pizza from the supermarket and some popcorn or a big bag of Cadbury pouches that always seem to be in offer for £1. And pack of three juice. Then let them sit on sofa and even have pizza there watching a movie as a big treat for them, but most importantly to give yourself a break. Just sit for an hour and ignore any jobs. (Get some fruit for pud if it makes you feel better 
).
daisydalrymple ·
16/07/2016 22:33
Oh I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. Like a previous poster, I've also been diagnosed with anxiety / depression. The meds started giving me side effects so I've had to stop (limited choice as still BF dc3, so went for the one lest present in bm). So I hear you with everything you say. My DH has long commute (out 630am-715pm, with a few over nights a month) and its relentless isn't it. I'd just love him to get home an hour earlier, just to have time to clean and tidy up properly! (How sad is that?? It's not even so I can have a break ha ha!)
Do you have time in the evenings once they're in bed to have a bath? I know there's so much to do, but even if you ignore the housework once a week and have some you time. Little things I do is have a hand cream in the bathroom and put some on after washing hands- just a small thing, but makes me feel like I'm looking after me. And a nail file so I try and do one nail each time I go in there. Eventually I've managed the hand 
and I keep clear polish in there and put a fresh coat on every few days. I always check out which shower gels are on offer for £1 and treat myself to a lovely smelling one. I know they're silly little things but they make me feel like I'm getting some me time.
Since having to stop the meds, I'm also trying to be more aware of how I deal with situations. I still snap on occasion, but mainly to DH, and I really try to pause before I react and take a deep breath. My trigger moments are (classic busy times), getting ready for school, cooking at teatime and clearing up, and bedtimes. So I've tried to simplify things as much as I can, get things ready throughout the day / night before and get the dcs on board with a team effort. I really try and include them in choices and explain how stressful an accumulation of things can be for me - they don't empty bags, I don't get lunch boxes cleared out and prepped, school tops don't get in the wash, makes us late in the morning etc. So they see how things affect us all.
In taking a step back, I've realised that I'm not going to get any help or extra hours to myself, and I need to embrace this time and make the most of moments with them.
I don't expect anybody to look after my children for me, but when I see grandparents have such involvement in their GCs lives, I feel a pang for my children they don't have that. Both our mothers live close by, but in 9 years, neither one has had even half an hour alone with the children. So when I'm scrubbing a burnt pan out, singing wheels of the bus for the tenth time to try keep dc3 happy in high chair a while longer to finish jobs, listening to ds1 spouting random facts about the footy World Cup circa 1978, dd talking over him about shopkins, then I notice it's raining and the washing is still on the line.... That's when I remind myself how much I love them and wouldn't want to be without them World Cup trivia, Dam shopkins and all
Sorry for the epic post! You're not alone! X
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