Playmate trouble

[takingturns]

My two year old son occasionally plays with a boy a few months younger. But the problem is they don't play and haven't done for at least a year. Instead this other boy follows my son around screaming and fighting with him to get whatever he has in his hands. If my son gives in (which he used to do) it would start all over again when he found something else to play with. This child would also regularly hit my son to get something. My son is now more confident and unwilling to give up the toy he is playing with - but this child is now resorting to full on tantrums to get his own way. Recently I found myself wrestling with my son to snatch a toy off him to quieten this child down - because his mum said that my son would hand it over. HELP! I don't want to teach my son that screaming and violence means you get your own way! But I have tried every tactic - distraction etc with this other kid without any result. I don't know his mum well enough to have a frank discussion about the situtation. Also, I suspect there are other developmental issues involved - he has always been v distant and disinterested in people around him - he barely aknowledges other children's existence except as a threat to his toys, he is physically akward and when I recently read a book with him he said what's that? repeatedly without seeming the least bit interested in the answer. I don't want to offend his mum especially if there are undiagnosed reasons for his extreme behaviour but I can't put my son in the position where he could get hit again and where I am forced to teach my son that snatching is fine. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! PLEASE HELP!

[chipkid]

It is my view that these play situations only really work if the parents involved are singing from the same hymn sheet. It is not fair to your little one if he is always the one that has to compromise because there is no intervention with the other child.
If it was me I would try and explain the problem to the other mum. If that doesn't work why don't you meet up out of doors where toys are not such an issue.