5yr old DD has done two v strange things this weekend..........

[missingmywine]

Firstly she was sat on DH lap watching the Simpsons and she suddenly turned round and slapped him on the face for absolutely no reason at all. Secondly - just spent 20 mins sweating trying to work our where £80 had gone from husbands wallet and we couldn't work our where it had gone so assumed he had dropped it then remembered last night just as DD went to bed and we did a story she came upstairs with her little pengin wallet - yep - just looked and there's the £80! . Any ideas? Not sure how to deal with the money thing - just ask her is she knows where it is or present her the wallet? Is it a game or more calculated? Thanks.

[missingmywine]

Bump - anyone?...

[bran]

I think they are two very separate things, in that she should definitely know that hitting someone is wrong, but she might not really understand about money yet.

What did you do about the slapping? Was she disciplined and did she say sorry? The Simpsons can be quite violent with lots of hitting etc so perhaps you could say to her that you will help her to behave by not letting her watch The Simpson any more.

I don't think that taking money is very sinister at this age, she had a wallet and wanted to have money in it like mummy and daddy, it's a bit like walking around in mummy's shoes. Tell her you found the money in her wallet and that it's very important that she never takes money as you won't be able to buy food for dinner etc. I'm sure that you can get play money or left over foreign currency for her wallet which would keep her happy.

[Hulababy]

I agree -two very different issues.

The slapping needs dealing with immediately, as it happens, and in a serious tone. At 5 she is old enough to know that hitting is wrong.

The money thing, I believe, is different. I can't imagine there was anything malicious in her taking the monet. My nearly 5yo has very little understanding as to monetary value. She knows, however, that money buys us certain things and you need money to buy toys, sweets, etc. She loves to have her own money in her purse. I suspect your DD is similar in that she just wanted to have money in her purse, like you guys have, I would tell her that you found it and was concerned as you had thought it was lost, and then you'd noit be able to pay for dinner, etc. Just explain that you mustn't take money from people's purses and if she needs money then to ask. See if she wants some pretend money - or maybe let her "earn" the odd 10p coin for doing little jobs for you. DD loves to wash the dishes ocasionally and get a shiny 10p coin

[bluejelly]

My instinct would be that these are two unrelated incidents. Keep an eye on her but she's only 5 and has no understanding of the real value of money (£80 could be 80p as far as she's concerned)

[missingmywine]

Thanks guys - yes she was severley told off ref the slapping and then we thought taking the money was linked as she does have 'pocket' money such as 10p's and 20p's. Talked it through with DH and he wants to ask her where the money is so she can tell us, I am less keen in case she doesn't then what do we do?!!! Agree that £80 could be £8 or .80p so its not the value just that she took it. Thanks for the advice .

[bran]

I don't think it's a great idea to ask her where the money is as it's sort of inviting her to lie. Say that you noticed it was missing and you and Daddy were terribly worried, but then you found it in her wallet and she must not take money from other people again.

[Hulababy]

I wouldn't ask her either. I suspect she will become worried and/or upset and resort to telling fibs within seconds of such a question. I would just say you found it and talk to her instead, rather than setting her up for a fall.

[Madora]

Two strange things at the weekend - attention seeking maybe?