This is my first post so bear with me!
I'm struggling with my DS's reaction to being told off and would like your opinions on how I'm dealing with it (please be gentle!) and your advice on what I could do better.
There are generally 2 stages to his behaviour. Firstly he gets really upset and angry, and generally retaliates with shouting 'shut up' and 'you're an idiot' at whoever has told him off (including friends parents, after school club assistants). This can go on for half an hour. I'm less worried about this stage as I know that he is struggling to control himself and express himself, but how do I help him manage his feelings? I try to remain calm and explain to him that its OK to feel angry but it is not OK to shout and be rude to people.
He then moves on to a 'you don't like me', 'nobody likes me', 'my life is really bad', 'I don't want to be alive' stage. He has even said 'you never wanted me as a baby' which couldn't be further from the truth and I can't imagine where that thought has come from. Possibly something he has heard on television or in the playground? I always tell him that I do love him very much and always will no matter what happens, but that I don't like the way he is behaving. At this point I generally leave him alone to calm down and he's usually totally fine after that.
He's normally a happy little boy and has a nice group of friends at school. I think they have the odd fall out, but nothing that isn't normal for that age, so there's nothing (that I know of) to justify these comments.
My greatest worry is that the more he says these things, the more he reinforces them in his own mind and will end up believing them. This happens once or twice a week. I'm worried that this could lead to mental health problems in the future and am considering consulting a child psychologist. Am I being over the top?
As background, when he gets told off at home, I try to remain calm and not shout. I stay polite and explain why I'm cross about what he's done and try to make him realise how whatever he has done affects other people. He does usually say sorry to me after he's calmed down.
Sorry for long post!
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Behaviour/development
Worried about DS (6). Advice please.
4 replies
tiddlypom76 · 16/06/2016 10:59
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