Smirking/laughing when in trouble

(4 Posts)
Shanster Sun 12-Jun-16 03:13:40

My DD is 7 and whenever she's in trouble she smirks and sometimes starts to laugh. She's rarely remorseful, even when she's done something pretty awful. The smirking makes me angry, then I escalate (instead of just telling her off, ban her from TV for a week for example). She's done this since she was a toddler, and I'm not sure if its a nervous thing, or if she just doesn't give a damn - or both.
Does anyone else have experience of this?

MadamDeathstare Sun 12-Jun-16 03:45:58

I think it could be embarrassment. I don't know about the lack of remorse though. I think children sometimes don't understand the magnitude of what they have done because they haven't much life experience to draw on. A child might not show any remorse for breaking an ornament that was left to you by a deceased friend because they haven't had a close friend yet, and certainly not one that has died. They can't empathize because it is completely outside anything they have gone through.

corythatwas Sun 12-Jun-16 19:20:09

In my own experience this is what happens with very sensitive children who hate being in trouble. My older dc has always been able to manage a very charming and sincere-sounding apology: it took me a while to realise that this is because she doesn't actually care as deeply as my younger dc.

What I would do would be simply to deal with the original misdemeanour and ignore any reaction. And be prepared to move on quickly.

purpleme12 Sun 12-Jun-16 19:35:21

I can't speak for everyone and every child is different why they do this but when I was younger I would try and act like I didn't care when I was told off and it's because I thought they were just trying to get to me (be nasty) so I mustn't let them. Don't show any emotion. Don't give them what they want. I think it was because I didn't feel loved, my sister was more loved than me. I'm just sharing how I felt, I know this could well off the mark for your child but just in case it helps anyone. Not cuddles and assurance I was loved and I love you but I don't like it when you do such and such would have helped me but that's just me

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