High needs baby

(3 Posts)
Delice Wed 01-Jun-16 23:26:17

Hello. My son is 10m old and has been high needs from birth. He will cry and fuss all day. He was born earlier and had a bit of silent reflux and colic when she was little we He's on lactose free formula. Anything seems to be difficult with him , frustration at not being able to walk or sit, nappy and clothing changes aren't easy too! He absolutely hates his car seat or pram. I have been so patient and keep trying to be positive but I'm not sure how much more i can deal with. We are not going on holidays this year as we have no idea how he will be .He's great and easy with food but doesn't want to be in his chair. It seems so unfair that others have such easy babies.
I literally have tried everything to make him feel happier, nothing seems to be working:/ I'm exhausted and unhappy first time mother...
Anyone had any similar experiences?hmm

Rainbow Thu 02-Jun-16 02:11:30

It's hard. It sounds like he is used to get his own way so will create until he gets it. He doesn't want to sit in his chair so he cries and you take him out. We are all guilty of giving in to them. My eldest was terrible. As a first time mum, you don't know what to do for the best and all the conflicting advice is not that helpful. You're worried about what other people think etc. DS2 and 3 were better, I didn't rush to get him if he cried, I finished what I was doing. They had to wait a tiny bit and they learnt to be more patient. DS4 was sick from 2 days old and we nearly lost him. He is slightly more spoilt than the other 3 and not just by me. The biggest culprits.are actually his brothers😊. Frustration over not being able to walk is a good thing. He isn't satisfied just sitting there so will push himself to progress. You're doing fine. Trying leaving him in his chair for a minute or so while you take the plates out etc. He won't be happy at first but he'll learn you're cowing back and it will.get easier xxx

Cineraria Thu 02-Jun-16 02:48:37

My son is a lot like this. He has silent reflux too and I think that was where it started. He is only eight months now but we have found ways of coping.

For us, the main things that helped, apart from getting suitable medicine, were:

Encouraging him to tolerate the things he didn't like for a few minutes longer each day, e.g. sitting in his rocking chair while I have a shower, tummy time, car seat, by singing songs he likes while he's doing them and then rewarding him by doing something he likes, such as holding him up over our heads, straight after.

Learning to carry him on my back in the woven wrap was a godsend. He is always quiet and relaxed in the wrap, and having him on my back allows me to get on with things.

Getting him to nap more in the daytime as his reflux would wake him frequently, so he wasn't asleep for the duration of the nap/night and was always tired, which made him more grumpy. Reflux wedges were useful for this too.

Changing nappy and clothes in a seated position rather than lying down as much as possible, often whilst singing, and letting him sit on a potty during nappy changes was a strange thing that helped. We started doing this at ten weeks by propping him against us when his acid problems gave him a bit of nappy rash and he suddenly seemed happier about changes altogether.

I know lots of people don't like them and I wouldn't have bought one myself but our neighbours gave us a babywalker that their grandson grew out of quickly as he walked so early and my son is so happy in it that I'm really pleased to have it. Otherwise he just wants to stand up and walk holding my hand all the time and gets cross when I can't help him.

I know it's hard but do focus on the good things too, like being a good eater and the determination to get up and walk so early. Perhaps the strength of his desire to get rid of the frustrations he feels will make him a passionate and dynamic person who achieves a lot in his life.

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