My 4 year old just don't sleep

(17 Posts)
xxxemmaxxx1703xxx Tue 12-Apr-16 22:53:20

Well she does but for about 3 hours n then is up all night till half 5/6 I'm really just look for some tips other than cut her sweet n pop n sugar intake because she very rarely has them... nothing works.. tia..

MattDillonsPants Wed 13-Apr-16 02:10:58

Hi there...what is her bedtime routine like? I mean...what time does she go to bed and does she have a bath and story every night? If she doesn't, this is one of the most important things...routine will help her.

I know you says she very rarely has sweets and pop but does she have other things which might contain sugar or additives? Cakes? Pudding? Icecream?

What sort of things does she have for her tea and snacks regularly?

minipie Wed 13-Apr-16 16:43:25

I don't have a solution for you but am interested because my 3.5yo also doesn't sleep enough at night (though she does usually sleep 9 hours at least).

So what happens - what time do you put her to bed, what time does she fall asleep and then when does she wake in the night? What does she do when she wakes up?

xxxemmaxxx1703xxx Thu 14-Apr-16 01:37:26

Hi she has bedtime routine she will come home from school have one small kids flat pop.. she will have tea have a bath then a bit of t.v before bed while I am settling her baby brother.. then cwtchs story then bed... she will then go to sleep she goes to bed at 7 n will be sleeping b4 20 past n then wake up at 11/12 n be up then all night till about half 5/6 which is then draining as she is in school full time n has to be up by half 7 as for snacks n stuff she has fruit n crisps xx

xxxemmaxxx1703xxx Thu 14-Apr-16 01:38:45

As for what does she do when she wakes up is play up her attitude is of a 16 year 😂😂🙊🙈🙊 sometimes it's not funny tho :-(

MattDillonsPants Thu 14-Apr-16 01:56:01

What sort of meal would her tea be? Also "flat pop" is no better than fizzy pop I'm afraid. x

MattDillonsPants Thu 14-Apr-16 01:57:32

Is she waking up to go to the toilet? Does she need a wee the moment she wakes at midnight? Or is there a noise which might happen around the same time and disturb her?

Out2pasture Thu 14-Apr-16 03:46:42

you mention; flat pop, fruit and crisps. what protein is she getting throughout the day?
you mention tv before bed and please what is "cwtchs" story?
as others have asked what noise or household activity is happening after 7pm.
does she have her own room or does she share?
what does she do between 11/12 and 5/6? who is up with her?
is this a new problem or has she always been a poor sleeper?
lots of questions but it will help smile

minipie Thu 14-Apr-16 09:44:56

Hmm so the question is what is disturbing her at 11/12. Is there something you can think of that might be waking her? Needing a wee, noise from downstairs or next door, some kind of discomfort in herself, too hot/cold? Have you asked her what's woken her up?

Actually I think many kids have a light sleep patch around 11/12 as it's 4 hours after they went to sleep (I have seen my own DC toss and turn a bit at this time, and if they are ill, this is the time they will often wake) however mostly they will just roll over at this time and go back to sleep.

What do you do when she wakes at 11? Do you try to take her back to bed?

InsaneDame Thu 14-Apr-16 14:06:33

Out cwtch is a welsh word for cuddle

xxxemmaxxx1703xxx Fri 15-Apr-16 01:40:26

Yes cwtch means cuddle (Welsh thing sorry) it's not flat fizz pop it's like a very small bottle of juice (sorry my wording it awful) she has a hot meal for tea whether it be home made cottage pie with veg.. spa bawl roast time she is in school full time she has fruit bowl after slices of apple grapes and pears.... she wakes in the night for a wee.. I have tiled kitchen so Carrie her trough so her feet don't touch the floor no no noise to wake her u... she has a brother who is 8 months who she adores... In is usually in bed and sleeping b4 she goes up to bed n he don't wake till 3.. n as for who is up with her? Her father is I get up n feed my boy then go back to bed ready to do school run the following morning... I do stay up some nights n it draining.. my next step is a trip to the doctors because honestly nothing works... and when she does wake up for her wee ill carry her through take her back up to bed n read her a story n tuck her back into bed but she is up & down mammy I want daddy this happened today n she has aready said about 5/6 times b4 she went to bed in the first place... any advice would be grateful xxx

xxxemmaxxx1703xxx Fri 15-Apr-16 01:48:54

She has always been where she will sleep right through for about 3/4 months n then back to being up & down n will no doubt be like it for a couple months it's so draining but it has only really been since her brother was very poorly in hospital but he is all better now n we told her alway the way through he was gona be okay just need to be in for a little bit of help to fight to get better but she was fine the first week we was home n then it changed n I can't get her back to sleeping right through

MattDillonsPants Fri 15-Apr-16 06:23:51

Hang on...when she wakes up for a wee, you then carry her back to bed and read her a story? That needs to stop. Bedtime is bedtime...story happens before bedtime and not in the middle of it.

Keep talking to a bare minimum...don't answer her when she speaks to you apart from to say "It's sleeping time now...back to bed" and nothing else.

If she thinks you will talk and engage with her during her wakings, then of course she will chat and get out of bed.

When was her brother ill? How long ago?

Artioo2 Fri 15-Apr-16 09:37:56

I agree, stop reading her stories in the middle of the night. Back to bed, brisk 'time to sleep now' and leave the room. No one stays up with her. Go back to your room, all lights in house out. Repeat this over and over every time. If she gets rewarded with interaction in the night, she'll keep getting up. You need to make it so there's nothing in it for her,although it'll take a while for her to realise there's no point in trying it.

backtowork2015 Sat 16-Apr-16 14:02:16

Maybe get a chair potty for the room so you don't have to carry her through the house to the loo. Less stimulation to wake her up too much. Also maybe restrict fluids late on so she might go through the night

Out2pasture Sat 16-Apr-16 16:50:45

if she goes to the washroom by day on her own I would expect the same at night, night lights along the way.
as other's have said, less verbal interaction less stimulation.

Kariana Sun 17-Apr-16 21:56:54

If I'm getting the timeline right it sounds like this started either during or just after her brother's illness. This suggests it's linked to attention. The middle of the night may have been the only time she felt she was getting mummy and daddy to herself and this is now habit. There is nothing the doctor can do, it is simply that you need to break the cycle.

Firstly as others have said the middle of the night story needs to stop, it will be over stimulating her and making her brain think it's time to wake up. It's straight for a wee then straight back into bed, quick kiss and then back to sleep. Any fuss or getting up needs to be dealt with by firmly taking her back to bed with a calm, "it's sleep time now, I'll see you in the morning". This should only be said once and then nothing, no eye contact, no cuddles or kisses just put back in bed and then you leave and go back to your own bed. Repeat as necessary if she gets out of bed but ignore all calls for attention. She doesn't really need her daddy/mummy/a drink/another wee etc. it's all for attention. Your partner needs to be strict with this too. No doubt the first few nights will involve screaming and crying, possibly waking her brother but once you are through this she will realise night time is not attention time and she should start sleeping and self settling.

To make up for the loss of attention at night you or your partner could try making some one on one time with her during the day, playing together or something after school. That way she is still getting time with you on her own.

Good luck with it, I hope you manage to get it sorted!

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