Toddler DD breaking my heart since brother arrived

(7 Posts)
thescruffiestgiantintown Sat 09-Apr-16 08:16:23

DD is 24mo and has a newborn brother of 5 days. She is a very sensitive, articulate, emotionally aware child so we did a lot to prepare her for his arrival, had a lovely first meeting between the two, etc.

However, a few days in and she is so incredibly sad that it is really breaking my heart. She has very giggly jolly moments during play and particularly with her friends but much of the time she just looks so forlorn.

All her stuffed toys are "sick and sad", she has told me "I feel so sad and I just don't know why" and during the night (she has been in our bed for the past couple of nights) she calls out "I need a cuddle Mummy" and things like that in her sleep.

I guess this is all entirely normal and I'm trying to help her by vocalising, giving her space for outbursts, and spending as much one on one time with her as I can, but I feel really helpless and a bit lost. I feel like it would almost be easier if she were just being naughty. No doubt post natal hormones not helping.

Has anyone been through similar and got any words of advice or encouragement?

YouSay Sat 09-Apr-16 08:20:37

Poor dd. All you can do is give her lots of reassurance and attention. Call ds 'her baby' and let her help as much as possible. They will be great friends in a few years but I know it is hard at the start.

YouSay Sat 09-Apr-16 08:22:17

Meant to say it gets better quickly. My dd called the baby 'her baby' and was fiercely protective after the initial first shock. They are best buddies now.

TheABC Sat 09-Apr-16 08:23:32

No advice here, but I hope it gets easier for you both. It sounds like you ate a caring mum, doing everything possible to comfort her.

thescruffiestgiantintown Sat 09-Apr-16 09:59:16

Thank you.

YouSay do you remember about how long it took? It's awful but I'm just wishing I could jump into the future at the moment instead of enjoying my lovely newborn and toddler.

Vanillafox Mon 11-Apr-16 13:21:34

My DD was 2.5 when my son came along. She hated him. Really tried to hurt him everyday even though she'd never shown any violence before and had never even watched so much as a violent cartoon. 3 days in I was crying my eyes out while I tried to breastfeed DS while holding DD back with my free hand trying to stop her hitting him on the head.

I don't have any amazing advice - it was a year before I was happy to leave them alone in a room together. But if it helps, now they are inseparable and he absolutely worships her! She protects him and acts like his agent ("he wants this Mummy! He needs a nappy change!") She is 4.5 and he is 2.

wrapsuperstar Mon 11-Apr-16 13:24:56

My DD was a similar age when DD2 came along, and had a similar reaction. She too is and was very bright and verbal. We talked, and talked, and talked. From very earliest days carved out time for just the two of us wherever possible. It took a while, but now my youngest is approaching her second birthday, they are honestly the best of friends.

Your DD is lucky to have a mum who is thinking and caring so deeply about this -- you'll soon help her through it. flowers

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