So how DO you wean a toddler off a dummy?

[Hayls]

My dd is almost 3 and still has a dummy at night. She uses it to fall asleep but it falls out soon after and I think she only puts it back in when she wakes up in the morning. I now think it is time to get rid of it though as her teeth are starting to protrude slightly but she's having none of it. We tried posting them all off to the little babies who needed them and swapping them for Christmas presents but she got really upset and we gave in .

She doresn't have it during the day but sometimes asks for it if she's tired. INcidentally, she CAN fall asleep withot it as if she ever naps at nursery she doesn't have it and does it at home or in the car soemtimes.

I'd really appreciate any tips or advice on how best to handle it. Do we just go cold turkey and put up with the upset caused? It's her 3rd birhtday in a couple of weeks so I thought about coinciding with that but don't want to ruin her birthday!

[marymillington]

I think it depends on the child.

Cold turkey seems to work for my DS with lots of things - bottles, co-sleeping etc. We did dummy cold turkey with DS about 3 weeks ago. He's 2.3. Basically we had to - I realised I'd lost his last dummy at 7pm, DH was 40 miles away at a works party, and I don't drive. He cried and complained and woke twice that night. But he hasn't asked for it once since. I think once he realised he didn't need it the battle was won. It was a lot easier to stay resolute when I genuinely couldn't give him a dummy.

[HuwEdwards]

Dunno - I'd like to know how the hell you stop thumb-sucking!

[goingfor3]

My daughter stopped using hers at 3 1/2. Firstly she bit holes in most of them and I promptly threw them in the bin and she had only one left. She left this last one in the early learning centre. I thought she would scream especially at bedtime but she accepted it really easily. I had tried many times to get rid of it but this was the right time for her.

[LittleSarah]

Lol Huw, not to be discouraging but I am still sucking my thumb occasionally! I am trying hard to stop though as dd keeps copying me.

I remember I did it regularly til 12 then forced myself to 'quit' as I was starting secondary, those first few nights were a nightmare, I had literally never gone to sleep without sucking my thumb!

On the dummy thing I think cold turkey is the best way I am afraid!

[robin3]

Watching with interest too...DS1 is 3 and only has his dummy at night. I've started taking it out of his bed after he falls asleep to see if he cries for it and every night he has at about 3amish so he still uses it a little in the night.

We've been telling him for ages that they are getting broken and he understands that there will be no more. I have also set the scene with the approach of 'you are a big boy now and don't need the dummy but I know it will be difficult for you to give it up. If you can then it will deserve a big reward so we will go and choose a castle' Since then he's been telling everyone he's getting a castle when he doesn't have a dummy BUT every night I say 'would you like to try to go to sleep without dummy?' and he says 'no'. I thought an reward was a better way to position it rather than as a bribe/incentive. I guess I could take him to see the Castle and then say 'tonight you go to sleep without it'?????

[Flower3554]

This has worked with all three of mine but I think we were just lucky. Mine were biters and would bite holes in the dummies or capsize them so one night I told the child we would have to get a new one "tomorrow" as I didn't have any more. When "tomorrow" comes, forget until the next day and so on.
You can be the "silly mummy" who forot to buy a new dummy and eventually they forget to ask.
Try to do this when you don't have to go to the shops otherwise obviously they will remind you when you pass a chemist etc.
Also go overboard about how good, brave etc they have been to manage without one that night then the next night etc.
Remind yourself that you can take a dummy from them, thumbs are another matter!!!
Good luck

[katelyle]

I would check with the dentist about whether having a dummy just in to go to sleep with is likely to do any harm - if the answer is, as I suspect, no, then just don't worry about it. They all give them up in time - why make a battle out of something that will just happen naturally in a few months?

[isgrassgreener]

Just go cold turkey. Its hard and you feel really mean, but it works.

We faffed about abit with DS1 and it took much longer.

With DS2 when he was about 3, I just took it away, he cried for it for about 3 days but then it was all over and done with.

If you know she can fall asleep without it then just go for it.

I have a friend who faffed and her DS2 was still using a dummy to fall asleep at 7

[scorpio1]

with my dss we explained that the easter bunny took it in exchange for a chocolate egg (it was easter then!)

he seemed fine about this. it was a nightmare the first few times he had to go sleep without it,but it was fine after a few days. he was nearly 3 when it went.

just ride out the storm!

[ernest]

chuck it in the bin. 2 weeks is plenty of time to get over it. If she cries, just mentally picture Esther Ranzen or something.

[Notquitesotiredmum]

Friends of ours told their son that it was illegal to have a dummy after the age of three and got a friend to pop round in a police uniform on the child's birthday as a surprise. He collected the dummy and presented him with a certificate congratulating the child on being a big boy now.

It worked for them - child very impressed with police visit and with certificate - though I can see that some kids would find the dummy fairy a lot less intimidating.

[lovelymoo]

My friend used the fairy idea. Her DD left her dummies out for the fairies one night so they could give them to the new babies and in exchange they left her a present. When she woke up in the morn she had a new present and only asked for it once and was told that the fairies had taken them away

[lapinrose]

My DTs had dummies for sleeping until last Easter when they were 2.5. We talked about them bening big girls, I bought them some new PJs so they had something nice to look forward to at bedtime. We got them a present too, gave them the choice between the present and the dummy, no contest they put the dummies in the bin themselves . Interestingly the one who had always been more dependant on the dummy accepted the whole thing very well, but the one who never seemed bothered about it had a few nights of stroppiness over it. I think the key thing is to just get rid and hold your nerve, make it a special event and get her to make the decision if you can! Good luck!

[sandcastles]

I have just done this with dd. Wed 27/12, Santa took them & left a gift. We were going to do it Xmas Eve, but we were staying at PIL & didn't want her day ruined (or ours) by ending in a melt down. We told her Santa was too busy! I think do it a couple of days after her birthday.

I put the dummies in the annex (as I want to keep them & NO WAY would dh or I go out there under the spider infested porch at night, so no way of giving in)

Wed/Thurs/Friday 2 hours to get to sleep, crying, whining, asking etc etc. Exhasting! Just read lots of books, played with a torch she got for xmas, lots of talking & lying on bed....basically just distraction. When she looked fit to fall asleep, told her I was getting a cup of tea & would be back...10 mins later she was asleep. All three nights followed this same pattern.

Saturday night she was asleep in 20 minutes, but was a very busy day. Tonight I took the line that I was largely going to ignore her whining & calling out as she would just replace the dummy with me.

She hasn't asked for it for just under a week now. She did drop her naps the day she went dummiless & I have heard that this is quite common, so if she still naps, be prepared.

I think the best way is just do it...don't give in as you will havea harder battle. Ours was all over in 3 days, with the occasional mention until, as I said about a week ago! Blardy hard....but so worth it.

[wurlywurly]

lovelymoo we also did the fairy bit, told ds that the noo-noo( which was what he called his dummy) fairy had sent me a letter and that they could be collection his noo-noo on this date and take it to a child that didnt have one and that if he left it out for them to collect they would leave him a present. That way he knew when it was gonna happen and that he would get something in return (yes i know it bribary) so we did, put his noo-noo on his bed then took him for his bath and when he was finished in the bath it had gone and there was a present there instead, was probably only something little like a car or something but it did the trick.

[Aero]

I could have written that post Hayls. We've tried the cold turkey thing and it really wasn't worth the aggro. After two weeks, he was still taking until 10pm to go to sleep!! He wasn't crying every night, but just couldn't settle off to sleep. We'd have perservered, but were invited out one evening and I didn't feel I could leave my sister with this problem, so we 'found' one that 'Santa' must have forgotten about. Things have been much easier since and as it's only at night that he needs it, then I'm being firm with myself not to see it as a problem at this time. He's fine about not having it during the day, so Im hoping there'll be a natural progression. The older pair had no problem giving them to FC. A few weeks to practice with the dummy under the pillow 'just in case'. By the time Christmas Eve came, they were well ready to give them away, but not ds2 - he just kept taking it from under his pillow, then we took it away altogether to put in a pile for FC and that's when the unsettled nights began. He also woke up in the night looking for it!! So the boy's just not ready I guess.

[katelyle]

Will someone tell me why it's so necessary to take away a dummy that a child is sucking for a few minutes to go to sleep with? Am I missing something?

[VelmaDinkley]

We sent it to the man on the moon & he left a drinking beaker(for a big boy) to have bed-time milk in instead....but it was a huge anti-climax- ds wasn't all that bothered when it went!

[sandcastles]

For me, it was because she only had it for sleeps & was starting to ask for it at other times too.

I always decided she wouldn't have it beyond 3.

Personal choice I guess!

[Hayls]

Thanks for all the replies, at least I'm not alone. As for why, it's a personal thing for me I guess. Her front teeth definitely protrude slightly (think only I notice though!) even though we have only used orthodontic teats but I suppose that might have happened anyway. Just because dd doesn't have it during the day doesn't mean she doesn't want it- if she finds one she will suck it and it is a nightmare to get rid of it again. I have this image of her going to school with her dummy in I just feel this is the right timeas she is growing up in all other ways. Furthermore, it is a total PITA trying to find one every night and we've had sooo many emergency trips to the supermarket to buy another one.

INcidentally, dd does also suck her thumb occasionally when she's tired or upset (recent development [shrug]) but it won't do at bedtime.
Think the dummy fairy is worth a shot but we should probably wait until after her birthday.

[wildwomanofborneo]

We also coincided dummy withdrawal with our dd's third birthday. Think I prepared her by telling her that on the morning of your third birthday and now that you're a big girl and you don't need baby things anymore all the dummies in the house just dissapear! By Magic! She was actually quite excited (I, by contrast, had no fingernails left with worrying!) and I was amazed when the day came there was no fuss or upset that day or any other. I'd definately try it. Good Luck!!

[twoisenough]

When my dd got rid off hers we went and bought her a special big girl cover (she liked too have a dummy and cover at bedtime) She picked what cover she would like but hasnt looked at it since and used a manky old one that just does not wash clean anymore!!! lol
Also let her pick a few more stories at bedtime and hey presto, she doesn't ask for it at all anymore.Her db has on,e she doesn't bother his either, but because she has a cover i think this is why it has been so easy for me.

[sasa15]

I was 3 and my mum chuck it out of the kitchen window...saying that's it!!!

my cousin's mum chuck it out of the train window...saying that the ticket officer would let out of the train children with dummy

and that's it!!

[colditz]

I bribed him with a tenner and he hasn't bopthered about it since, and that was 4 days ago. And his little brother has one.