son talking in class and constantly lying

(4 Posts)
sprout2 Thu 03-Mar-16 13:06:42

My 12 year old is always talking in class - (he was recently diagnosed with dyslexia and suffered intermittent hearing loss, he is also struggles socially and academically - I don't think his current school provide enough support.)

I talk to him about not disrupting other peoples learning by calling out to other children name and he just wont stop!

He also lies constantly, even when its so obvious he is not telling the truth!!

i feel so drained and depressed, ever since he started secondary (he is now in year 8) its been constant complaints about his work and behavior.

Any advice would be appreciated.

BarbarianMum Thu 03-Mar-16 18:35:15

It definitely sounds as if he requires more support. Poor him. sad

Tell me more about the lying. What sort of lies is he telling?

Kleinzeit Fri 04-Mar-16 09:37:00

The lying is probably a symptom of his unhappiness and feeling badly about himself. Don’t try to force him to admit things. If you already know he did something wrong then just tell him “you did X” (ignore denials and justifications) “yes well, you need to do Y to put it right”. Focus on getting him to do Y - to apologise, to do his detention, to replace the broken item - if he can. If he's lying to big himself up then just say "Yes, it would be great if ....." same as you would for a much younger child.

If he wont stop calling out other children’s names it probably means he can’t. It’s probably an impulse that he can’t fully control, at least not all the time. So if the thing he has done wrong is something impulsive like shouting out then don’t get him to promise not to do it again, because he wont be able to keep the promise and that will only make both of you feel worse. But if there is something else he can do instead - does he have a card to leave the classroom for a few minutes when he’s getting wound up? - remind him that in future when he wants to do something disruptive he should use his card instead.

If the school are not providing enough support then there is not much you can do at home - certainly not much use in you lecturing or punishing him. As far as possible let what happens in school stay in school. (Apart from serious incidents, the kind that the school ring up about.) Focus on making home a calm relaxed place where your DS feels safe and valued. Try to have some enjoyable time together a few times each week, watch telly and eat popcorn together, play a game or walk the dog together or whatever, time when you don’t talk about his problems. And agitate for more support from the school - talk to learning support, to the SENCO, to his form teacher.

Oh and don't forget to look after yourself too! School struggles can be as stresful for us as they are for our kids flowers

AnotherNewUserName Fri 04-Mar-16 10:50:19

Well, if you can't hear, it makes sense to talk a lot so that you , at least for a moment, know what is going on. What help does he have for the hearing issue ? That might be a good place to start.

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