Cruelty to animals

[Mumkey]

My 7 year old daughter got two kittens for her birthday, and she treats them beautifully, just as we expected. What we didn't expect was the way our nearly three year old son would abuse them. We have an older cat and he has learned, sometimes the hard way when she's swiped him one, to be gentle with her, and we assumed he would have enough compassion to treat the tiny kittens kindly. He picks them up by their tails or throats, throws things at them and chases them. We tell him off and put him in his room for a couple of minutes when he offends, and he knows it's wrong, but he'll do the same again an hour later. Is he really too young to understand that it's cruel? We are trying as much as possible to keep the kittens away from him, but I would love to be able to teach him to be consistently kind to them. Any ideas? Anyone dealt with similar situations? Love to hear from you.
p.s. I'm new to this site and think it's excellent.

[Jasper]

mumkey, wellcome to the site and I hope you visit often.
Two kids, a cat and two kittens...are you mad??
Seriously, although I am no expert I recall in my pre child days when my cat had kittens every kid in the neighbourhood came round to have a look and generally the kids aged three or less were either indifferent or behaved just like your son - I think they thought they were some highly interactive toy. I don't think they were being deliberately cruel.
I don't think there is an easy solution, other than the fact that when the cats get a lttle older they are certain to give your son the odd scratch or nip if he keeps this up. If you are ok with that it should be a self limiting problem.
Good luck.

[threeangels]

I dont know what kind of consequencies there wer for my neices actions but when she was about 3 or 4 she decided to use their new full grown cat as a sled. She sat on the cat and went down thw stairs like that. I know my sister inlaw was freaking out when she heard it crying. At the vet they said she had broken a number of bones in its back. Thank God the cat recovered though. I think sometimes little kids dont realize their own strength. Especially little boys. I think 3 and under they just dont know this. Maybe you can sit down with your son and show him how to pat and rub the kitty gently. Maybe by also saying nice kitty or some other gentle words. This is what I do when my 18mo old son is beating up my 9 year old daughter. Im kidding he sometimes smacks her.

[batey]

There's a book of "Bartholemew the bear-Be gentle" all about being kind to a kitten, that might help. Also, as frequently told by my hv, reward the positive and ignore the negative(to an extent!), so you could try going overboard on the praise if/when he's nice. And maybe give him a "special job" every day to help the kittens-feeding or changing water or something and go on about how much the like it when he's kind. Good luck.

[Mumkey]

Thanks to all of you for your very sensible advice and horror stories! It's very comforting to hear that it's not only my little darling that acts like a barbarian! Deep down I know that it's normal behaviour for his age. I guess we were a little ambitious! We've devised a system now where if we can't watch his every move we put the kittens in a closed off room. We are also going really over the top on praise when he is gentle, and "Be Gentle!" has become regular night time reading!And you're right Jasper, I'm sure the cats will have the last laugh eventually!

[mollipops]

Hi mumkey - welcome! (Cute name btw!) I honestly wonder if they realise at 3 that a kitten/puppy is "real" and has feelings etc. I think they see them as a toy, with nice warm fur and tickly whiskers and a funny swishy tail! I distinctly remember watching our cat at about age 3 or 4, and he was sort of flicking the tip of his tail while he slept, and I was so fascinated, I really thought it was separate to the cat somehow, like a worm or something! (I know, I was a weird kid!)

I agree with the others about the teaching "gentle" touching and patting, and how the kitten purrs when it is happy and likes how he is touching it. Letting him help is a great idea too. Oh and teach him how to pick them up and hold them properly! Our neighbours dd who is 4 has a kitten and the way she carries it around, I can't believe it is still here! Good luck, sounds like you're doing fine now!