My dd is 10 and has had the same best friend since her first day at preschool. She has many other friends too.
The best friend comes from a complicated and chaotic home. I won't go into it but she's clearly very very much in need of reassurance and I suspect I don't know the half of what she's been through.
(She cries great it's time to leave a sleep over.... :-( she asks if she can live here.... All very difficult)
She sends dd card after handmade card - intricately decorated and covered in bff bff bff and then great declarations of love and requests that my dd will 'be with her through thick and thin'
Recently she's become besotted with several boys in her class and is trying to drag my dd along - she's genuinely not interested yet and finds it all rather odd. She gets regular text messages about 'not needing an immature boy' and 'wanting a real man' which is, surely bizarre at 10?
The selfies she's sending are deliberately heavily posed and not appropriate.
These are all her family's things to cope with and none of my business, so I've simply kept a keen eye on dds iPod communication and tried to keep things age appropriate at our end.
But it's getting hair raising now - last play date she spent 2 hours talking in an American accent, dry humping a pillar (!) , making insane truth or dare type demands and talking incessantly about which boys 'fancy' her. I had to wade in several times to stop her belittling dd2, which is new.
Worse, she's started demanding that my dd cuts off other friends because she 'hates ' them and sending pouty, moany videos via text if dd says anything along the lines of 'but she's my friend'.
A group of 6 girls were chatting online last week and it really kicked off - ddbf on the one hand sulking that dd wasn't exclusively talking to her, but then, frankly bitching about one girl abd asking others to join in.
It's rapidly got out of hand in the space of a month.
What do I do? She is dds best friend, but part of that comes from the fact that she is labelled it excessively and is showered with gifts daily that we have to take back because the poor girl is giving away all her personal possessions to try and win over my dd.
It all feels deeply troubling.
Can anyone help?
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Behaviour/development
How to deal with a needy, controlling best friend?
9 replies
BackToWorkIGo · 23/02/2016 14:49
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