At the end of my tether - Toddler kicking

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

Pls help. My 2 yr old had always hated nappy changes and it's getting worse. He kicks quite violently and can hurt me. I have tried talking to him calmly, rewarding him for good behaviour, telling him off but nothing works.
It really upsets me as if I move out of range he tries to reach me like he is trying to hurt me which I know is a bit silly but I get so upset by it. I'm also pg and worried about him kicking my stomach.
This morning I yelled at him which I feel awful about but I just don't know what to do. He's exactly the same with DH so it's not just me.
Any advice gratefully received. Unfortunately I don't think he's ready for potty training

[jessplussomeonenew]

Can you change him standing up? Means his feet are in use and less available for kicking!

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Not the loveliest job at the best of times! If he resents you interrupting what he was doing, tell him you're going to set a timer by which time you have to finish the task. (Obviously you set it for a good long time and let him be in charge of holding the timer). If you're protecting your bump I don't think pinning him down is the answer, have you tried getting him to stay standing as you clean him up? Get him to pass you the wet wipes. Do you tend to change him in the same room every time?

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

I have not tried doing it standing up guess I think he would just run off but it's worth a try thank you.
No morning and night time we do it upstairs but downstairs during the day. Sometimes I put Pepa on as a distraction as I just can't face the kicking which may not be the best thing.

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

Sorry jessplus hadn't seen you'd posted by the time I finished typing. Great minds, etc. Distraction is a good idea too OP. As well as Peppa maybe some jokey song?

[Glitterspy]

I'm just putting it out there - but shouting doesn't have to be a bad thing. Used once, for the right thing (kicking to hurt, and kicking the bump being 'right things') can be very effective. I only had to lose my shit once for my two year old (just turned three) to understand not to push me to that point again. She is not damaged or unhappy, she just understands there is a boundary it's unpleasant to cross.

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

Thank you glitter I know we all go through it. Still feel bad though, however I don't think it's had any effect on ds as he's just gone demented at having his coat put on. Everything is a battle today.

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

Maybe I should pen a nappy changing song

[Glitterspy]

If only to keep yourself sane a song's an excellent idea! Or turn it into a game/race (the timer idea upthread is brilliant). I sympathise - absolutely every single little thing with DD (3) is a battle of wits. I do find that "DD I'm asking you to lie still. I am going to count to 3. If I get to 3 and you're still [kicking], you will be on the bottom step/I will be very cross. I would like you to lie still. ONE. TWO" actually does the job.

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

Thank you. Just feeling so overwhelmed today. He's gone for a nap and I'm dreading getting him up. But I'll try and stay calm and do all the things suggested.

[OzzieFem]

Can you put him in pull-ups? That way you could change him facing away from your stomach, with him standing upright.

[MoreGilmoreGirls]

Thanks Ozzie I might give them a go toö.

[MariontheSteamShovel]

I'd second pull-ups. I have the same problem with my 2 year old kicking madly. She seems to like being changed stood up but that could be the novelty of it as we have only recently started using them.