3 year old behaviour around other children

[overmummy2701]

My LO has turned 3 today , but I've started to notice a problem that I need help with.

We took him to McDonald's for a birthday dinner (although it's not as if he eats anything else anyway!) and there is a soft play area.

I always have to have my eye on my LO as I always catch him shouting at or hitting other children. I don't know why he does this, but he just does not like other children! He won't stay away from them either like most kids will... He's very independent but always puts himself in a position where he fights with other children

I'm worried he's never going to be socially able with other children, and that one day something is going to go horribly wrong when he takes 'playtime' too far.

Any advice on what I can do?

Any help is appreciated!! Xxx

[boomoohoo]

Hi there, does your lo go to nursery or a child minder? Often this kind of behaviour is developed out in these settings eventually. It sounds quite normal still for a 3 yr old

[vichill]

Quite normal. I go to a mums group and there are a few aggressive 3 year olds. My dd can be foul and needs to be watched constantly.

[strawberrybubblegum]

Really? I'm surprised the last 2 posts have said it's just normal. While some this age still do - and I wouldn't worry that there's a developmental problem - I think this is behaviour to absolutely jump on and try to deal with.

It sounds like he wants to start interacting with other children (which they do at this age) but hasn't learned how. You need to start being really clear with him that this behaviour is unacceptable. Also lots of 'kind hands' and encouraging to take turns before it gets to that point. (You might need to stay right next to him in potential trouble places for a while).

DD (3) is rarely aggressive, but if it does happen (usually over a toy) she is immediately taken a short distance away and given a stern talking to about it not being ok, the other child was playing on this, it will be her turn next etc. Then I turn my back on her and comfort the other child, to reinforce it (also means she isn't getting attention for bad behaviour). She's a sensitive little thing and a stern talk is all she ever needs.

Other children I know who have had phases of aggressive behaviour are put straight into time out as soon as they hit or are aggressive to other children. Again, with a very stern talking to, and generally expected to apologise to the other child when they come out of time out. And obviously if it was a toy being fought over, that's taken away.

It's not easy to do it every time. Very occasionally, a friend whose child is going through a hitting phase has gone home from a meet-up because there have been repeated incidents in one afternoon, and it's all just got a bit stressful.

But the hitting phase has only ever lasted a few months for any of the children.

They DO learn, but it takes a lot of repetition and consistency.