I feel like I've failed as a mum

[startwig1982]

My ds is 4.5 and in reception. He had speech delay of about 6 months but appears to have caught up.
Today I was called in after school to talk to his teacher who is at her wits end with him. He doesn't listen, is physical with the other children, makes silly noises in assembly, so much so that he was taken out today. He is being awful and I don't know what to do.
One of the boys is having a party and hasn't invited ds as he's too naughty. It makes me so sad as he's loving and really very bright.
His teacher is going to have a meeting with the senco and the head to find a way forward but I'm worried they'll exclude him and I don't know what to do.

[Clarella]

Startwig, you haven't failed.

It's her responsibility to work out how to help your child in those situations.

It's a shame she was offloading a bit to you but some teachers just don't get it.

She really should have been discussing things with senco first for advice rather than laying blame at your door in my opinion, and only talk to you invade there was anything relevant going on at home.

I would either speak to head or senco yourself to check they are employing some positive behaviour strategies for a very young boy.

[startwig1982]

Thank you for the reassurance! We are firm with him at home and follow through on everything. I'm having his ears looked at in case that's contributing but I feel like I'm useless!

[Clarella]

Well again it's not your fault - you said he had a speech delay, and yes he might have caught up in expressive language but receptive (comprehension) might be a bit delayed?

I think it's good school are flagging a bit of an issue in certain situations but I think they could have been a bit more sensitive.

Contact the senco or head and ask to discuss things, you might find there are little things that correlate. However, at the end of the day he needs support if he's struggling a bit.

It can be a bit of a worrying slog but you know he's bright. He sounds a bit impulsive? There are people who could assess and suggest things - he might benefit from extra run abouts, some sensory fiddle toys to help him sit still or some visual prompts and positive reward charts. Speech and Lang and an OT assessment would be good starting points. It might be he's just still settling in to school and routines etc.

But it depends on the experience of your school and senco though they really should know what to do. If not come back here and ask for advice or actually chat to GP about it. It can be worth just making them aware.

He's still your gorgeous little boy and it will be ok. They should be working with you.