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Behaviour/development

Help me retain a sense of humour re; DS's destructive tendencies!

13 replies

MagicGenie · 19/12/2006 14:43

DS turns 2 in January and has started taking great pleasure in smashing/bashing/throwing - the usual stuff. Nothing gets 'put down' any more, it's always thrown/slammed/forced.

I know it's completely normal and he's testing the boundaries etc, and I do keep a sense of proportion most of the time, but he drove me mad during a shopping trip this morning - basically anything within his reach got picked up, thrown, thumped or pushed off shelves (caused by boredom, probably).

Mealtimes are also becoming interesting, as he's started throwing any bits of food he doesn't fancy over the side of his high chair. This is usually followed by a big dramatic, "Uh-oh! Fallen over!!," to which we are required to respond with equal drama.

On the positive side...when I do take exception and ask him to pick whatever-it-is up, he does so most times (not all). After ripping some wallpaper off the wall last night, he was not allowed any stories before bed, which he accepted as reasonable 'punishment' (as far as 2 year olds can, IYKWIM).

Would be interested to hear how others have dealt with this. Would prefer not to make a big deal out of it every time (so as not to feed the fire) but equally, don't wanna be a walk-over. Need some strategies to help me count to ten and take deep breaths.

TIA.

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NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 19/12/2006 14:46

maybe this'll help:

hes not just 'testing the boundaries' of what is acceptable behaviour. he is actually learning about how to throw things, what happens when he does, what happens if you peel this, what would happen if i jumped on that etc etc etc

hes learning cause and effect, as well as a lot of other things (concepts of physics, such as how objects behave in air, water etc) and he has absolutely no idea why on earth you would not want him to do these things.

does that help?

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NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 19/12/2006 14:49

also worth remembering: when he does something, 'destructive' or otherwise, at this stage of development, he is doing it for the process of doing it and all that can teach him. he has no interest in the end result at all. like drawing pictures for eg.

and he needs to repeat things over and over to learn from them.

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sunnysideup · 19/12/2006 15:01

brilliant posts nappies....

do not engage with the dramatic 'food overboard' game, not if you value your sanity I would ignore, ignore with that one myself....or even remove food once he starts to play with it, and get him on to playing with other stuff that he IS allowed to play with!

I think at this stage he needs loads of interaction and positive play with you so that he has lots of times in the day when he can experiment and learn without being told 'no'; toddlerproof as much as you can so that he doesn't break things that matter.....

does he like playdough? He sounds like he would enjoy playing with that with loads of different implements to make marks/or just bash the hell out of it.

Make sure you take him out every day no matter what the weather to use some of that energy outside.....

we got ds a huge inflatable toy that he used to bash around the room/launch himself onto and off, that was very popular. Also mountaineering on the sofa cushions all placed in a pile on the floor....water play was absorbing to him at this age too, he quite often had 2 baths a day!

I think it's definitely about remembering that what he's doing is experimenting with his abilities to make a big impression on things, so it's finding ways to let him do this that are ok with you as well as him!

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NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 19/12/2006 20:29

good ideas there sunnysideup (we are a mutual appreciation society, no? )

would also add - if you have a garden or any outside space at all, a sand and water table thing should absorb him for hours - nice and messy, but in a controlled enough way for you... and an allinone suit from littletrekkers or the like, fleecy warm on the inside and waterproof on the outside is a fantastic thing to have - my 3 LOVE going out in the freezing weather for hours in them. they sit in mud and puddles and everything - nothing fazes them.

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MagicGenie · 19/12/2006 22:33

SSU - yes, he's a real outdoor boy and goes stir crazy if we're indoors all day. Have to get him out! And I've learnt the hard way not to get too bothered about the food thing; if he asks for an apple, then flings it about cos he doesn't want it...c'est la vie. It is only an apple!

NG - he has a sand/water table which he loves, so the warm clothes & waterproofs idea is great. And the cause and effect thing makes perfect sense now you've described it.

Thanks both, anyway. I've got to say, he is such a good boy - wouldn't want to give the impression he's a nightmare cos he SO isn't

The in-laws arrive for Christmas tomorrow so perhaps my post was a tad premature....I'll hardly see him over the next week!

Advice appreciated tho' x.

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NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 19/12/2006 23:50

magicgenie - you sound just like me... tis absolutely fine to ask for advice, doesnt mean youre 'failing' or unhappy in any way. and is great to hear you adn ds have such a lovely time.
FWIW my 3 utterly do my head in now and then too - tonights bedtime being one of them. not proud, but i lost my rag a bit . still, we made up before they all went to sleep... hardest job there is, being a mum. thats what mn is for; hopefully helping to make that job a little easier/less lonely

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MagicGenie · 20/12/2006 13:27

...

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PinkTinsel · 20/12/2006 13:55

count yourself lucky, dd is exactly the same age and has been doing all of that for the last year! she's actually starting to grow out of it now!

one thing that sprang out of me was the mention of the highchair though. we found the mess at dinner completely disappeared when we started sitting her at the table with us for meals, she has her chair, plate and 'big fork' (the little one was thrown and never seen again!) and leaves the table when she's done. it's rare now that we have dinner time mess.

the rest of it just takes endless patiance im afraid!

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NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 20/12/2006 15:04

tis true actually. the occasional leap of faith and trust in them to be able to do more than youve ever seen them do... often pays off. (have to admit, most of my own 'leaps of faith' - ie letting them try something new - have been more accident than design owing to me being too busy to jump to aid of child and them going ahead and doing it anyway) if that makes any sense.

tis the upside of having more kids than you can actually handle i guess!

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PinkTinsel · 20/12/2006 16:17

ds needs the highchair and we can't afford a new one nappies galore!

leap of faith = act of neccessity in this house!

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PinkTinsel · 20/12/2006 16:17

ds needs the highchair and we can't afford a new one nappies galore!

leap of faith = act of neccessity in this house!