MY 9 year old son is horrible......

[StirredNotShaken]

He has always been challenging. He is argumentative, very astute, articulate, critical of others etc. I don't think he means to be or even realises his behaviour is offensive. We argue daily. This morning he was complaining that I got him up at 10am...says he wants to lie in!!!! I say that we have lots to do, go to town, walk the dog, spend his Xmas money etc...all good things but he begins to argue about it so I comment that why do we always have to argue and he says it is easy to argue with someone like me...almost patronising and implying that he doesn't like me. When I challenge this he says he loves me and cries. It is hard to put into words how he behaves but he also comments and criticises the way people look. I mean for example if I sip coffee and it makes a noise then he will give me a disgusted look or if I lick my lips or anything he will look at me in a certain way, comment or look disgusted. It really is awful though doesn't sound it on here! He will choose to argue over anything and I have exploded at him on occasion and told him he is the most difficult child to look after. I cannot think of more stuff but there is loads and loads. Help please.

[doitanyways]

It does sound awful and must be like living with your own worst critic. I probably don't have any useful advice but I just wanted to reassure you that it does sound pretty grim.

The only things I can think of are things I'm sure you've tried already - in a way it's good he's crying as he does obviously love you but sounds like his 'irritability' is set off by you which is not your fault I am sure!

[StirredNotShaken]

Thank you for replying doitanyways. It really can be an eggshells type situation. I feel like I am handling him all wrong. His sister is almost 18 (next week) so there is a massive age gap. In his class at school there are only 7 other pupils so not a huge scope for friendships. He has two cousins who we see frequently and he plays well with them but I am very aware that he is not particularly easy to love within the family as he is often rude and arrogant. My mantra here is that we always show kindness so it is not as if we are in a fraught and volatile household! My husband passed away when my son was 3 an daughter was 12 so not ideal but I am doing my best!

[doitanyways]

Oh I'm sorry to hear that! That must be really tough.

It sounds like he may just have stepped into his dad's shoes do you think? Not literally - but I know when my mum died I became elevated to 'adult' status and it was quite appealing. Luckily I was a bit older.

(The above it not saying it's your fault by the way - I just know that other people can say stupid stuff like 'look after your mum, you're the man of the house now' )