Child Watching Porn

(56 Posts)

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EmilyNoo1234 Mon 28-Dec-15 09:03:39

My 11 year old daughter has been caught on numerous occasions looking at hard core porn. I have had numerous discussions with her, banned her from her devices, removed her from the Internet etc etc. However her need seems so great she take other people devices and sneaks them to her room. We have now had to change all passwords on the router and have even had to put a passcode on the television as we caught her watching adult channels on the TV!

When she has sneaked devices, she can be up most of the night and the next day she is unbearable! Argumentative, aggressive, unapproachable etc.

I don't want to restrict her to having nothing but I truly dont know what to do! Can anyone offer me any advice?

mudandmayhem01 Mon 28-Dec-15 09:11:57

This is not normal and is an indicator of sexual abuse. She needs help, call the nspcc for where to start.

VashtaNerada Mon 28-Dec-15 09:15:15

It's not necessarily a symptom of abuse mud, it can be but not always. I'm not sure what to advise OP, sounds like she's getting such a buzz from it it's hard for her to stop. She has to though. Have you had a really good (calm) talk with her about it?

vestandknickers Mon 28-Dec-15 09:15:15

This is absolutely not ok and very worrying. You should, of course, be removing all access to devices, but you also need to investigate what is going on to make her want to do this.

EmilyNoo1234 Mon 28-Dec-15 09:19:29

I have spoken to her on numerous occaisons and she doesn't really tell me anything other than she enjoys it. I have taken her to the doctors about it and even demanded a referral to CAMHS and I felt about an inch tall when we visited them when they told me this was all normal behaviour and it was my role as parent to prevent her gaining access to porn! Easier said than done in this day and age and I am very computer literate!

EmilyNoo1234 Mon 28-Dec-15 09:34:30

We have disabled all her devices so she can't access the Internet, but her need seems to be so great she takes other people's devices and accesses it from there! I am at a total loss with her.

mudandmayhem01 Mon 28-Dec-15 09:39:22

Surely it is possible to stop an 11 year old accessing the Internet. How about turning wi fi off once she is in bed, also many mobile providers O2 block access to adult sites. How many devices to you have, I know children can sneaky but I strictly enforce no phones, tablets etc in the bedroom. My first post was a bit blunt should have read can be an indicator of sexual abuse. My preteens seem repulsed or amused by a mild sexual scene on T.V and my DD has come running to me if she has seen something dodgy on you tube. How did she come across hard-core pornography in the first place. Someone in your home was probably using it in the first place for her to have accidentally discovered it.

Branleuse Mon 28-Dec-15 09:45:08

cant you put net nanny or something on. Thats what we did when my eldest started accessing things he shouldnt. Also BIG talks.

Its pretty normal to be interested

Tomboyinatutu Mon 28-Dec-15 09:49:34

Can you not block access to certain things using your internet? We have sky and the shield is pretty good. We have blocked all social network and all adult sites. We also put an extra block on Google itself and YouTube and what not. That way people can still use the internet but the nasty stuff is gone

ArgyMargy Mon 28-Dec-15 09:55:52

Normal to want to be repeatedly deceitful in order to gain access to hard core porn at the age of 11?? Sorry but I cannot believe that.

Arfarfanarf Mon 28-Dec-15 10:03:12

You need to put strong filters on everything. That way no matter what devices she uses porn will be blocked. look for sites visited and block them (I can log onto my broadband settings via the internet and block sites, set levels, restrict times etc)
Also how is she taking other peoples devices? Know where they all are at all times. Have others come to you when she takes them. Password protect all devices and tell everyone under no circumstances give her the password.
Set times when the internet cannot be accessed at all - say 11pm to 6 am.
And yes, she does need help with this.you are right If this is an addiction she needs help

Firsteverchangeofname Mon 28-Dec-15 10:04:54

She is 11

Stop her access to 'other devices' parent her screen time.

Branleuse Mon 28-Dec-15 10:07:57

11 is a pretty normal age to start getting interested in sex and without any blocks, then porn is very easy to access. I mean its verging on the young side of normal, but its still a normal age to become interested.
Deceit is a separate issue, and as camhs said, its up to the parents/caregivers to block access to porn

Tinseleverywhere Mon 28-Dec-15 10:10:22

I think the problem is her need to see this stuff, I don't agree at all it is normal for an 11year old to want to repeatedly view porn, I agree they are curious about sex but I think that's different. The thing is, she has seen it now and this sort of images stay in your mind. Porn is addictive because like drugs it takes you out of your daily life and worries. I think you need to get her some help.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow Mon 28-Dec-15 10:15:26

How is she able to be 'up all night' watching porn? Turn your bloody wifi off at home, change all the passwords, whoever needs to use the Internet has to come and ask you to switch it on.

Lock all devices away and carry the key with you at all times.

'I don't want to restrict her to having nothing' - you're her parent, not her friend. She's shown that she is too young to have access to devices and use them appropriately - so she has nothing.

LouSavage Mon 28-Dec-15 10:17:26

Turn the wifi off. Jobs a goodun.

GinIsTheBestChristmasSpirit Mon 28-Dec-15 10:19:23

We have all adult stuff blocked at a router level. Nothing that connects to the net can access it. We also have a secondary level of protection on anything the kids use.

Block all adult material at router level. Block it on all devices. Get her some help.

MoreCrackThanHarlem Mon 28-Dec-15 10:23:14

Oh gosh, this is horrifying.
My daughter was once exposed to Internet pornography at a sleepover and was so traumatised by it that she didn't want to talk about it with me. I encouraged her to call Childline, thinking that it may help to talk it through with an anonymous stranger. She didn't, but was able to speak to the Padtoral Lead at school.

I would be VERY concerned, given that you say she has been up most of the night watching it. Why have you not set your Broadband filter to block this?

A lot of online porn is hideously depraved. You need to talk to her about exactly what she has seen. If she can't tell you find an anonymous way of doing this such as Childline. Speak to school, they may be able to refer your daughter for counselling directly without the need for a GP.

I can't emphasise enough how worrying this is. When it happened to my daughter I was so worried that her first "experience" of sex was such a warped version of reality and beside myself that it would form the basis of her expectations of sex. Please talk her through this. Porn is not real sex.

So sad for you. Hope you get the help you need.

mudandmayhem01 Mon 28-Dec-15 10:23:48

Is there someone else in your household who uses porn( maybe you, not judging it is legal for over 18s)and is reluctant to put a block on the router?

foragogo Mon 28-Dec-15 10:25:14

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wishfulmakeupping Mon 28-Dec-15 10:25:57

I would lock away all devices too- I'm not sure what you could do about the tv's though- can those channels be disabled some how? Maybe speak to Sky.
She does need help OP
I would go back and see a different Dr until you can get the referral.

nilbyname Mon 28-Dec-15 10:33:22

I don't understand why you have adult to channels on your tv? We don't- we have but vision and can buy or rent films etc on demand but they are password protected.

Turn the wifi off.

Talk to her. Don't read the riot act. Talk to her. Speak to your parent liaison support worked via her school.

ToddlerTantrums Mon 28-Dec-15 10:33:30

You can block all access to anything adult at the router. If you don't know how call you service provider they will be able to help.
Also - do you not have to pay extra for porn on sky? I thought the only ones you could access were those dodgy ones like call for chat channels? (Disclaimer - I have never tried to watch porn so have no idea if I'm right)

Arfarfanarf Mon 28-Dec-15 10:43:27

You can block adult channels on sky.They disappear. Settings need a password to change.
Theres nothing the op is describing that cant easily be sorted. Hopefully she'll make these simple changes and remove this access.
It must be a hell of a shock to realise your young child is viewing this horrific stuff. I bet her head is spinning making it harder to think clearly.

Jasonandyawegunorts Mon 28-Dec-15 12:53:24

do you not have to pay extra for porn on sky

Yes, I'm pretty sure you need a credit card.

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