Any ideas how to tame a 2 year old - million dollar question I know!

[Mummy2TandF]

Can anybody please help - I am getting a little concerned about my ds - he was 2 in November and has a really bad temper - I think that this might be usual for his age but he has begun to throw his toys around the room when he can't get his own way or I say no to something. he will not tidy up his toys under any circumstance (making it a game or a race or asking him to help mummy) and he is still really into touching everything - he doesn't seem to learn IYSWIM. He is generally a very demanding child and you need to spend an awful lot of time with him, but his behaviour doesn't seem to be improving as he gets older. Also, his speech is quite good but if somebody talks to him he does not respond - he just talks back to them with whatever is on his mind at the time - usually the hoover, computer or a plug! which are his favourite things at the moment. For example - I took him to see Father Christmas and when he said - "what's your name then" my ds didn't look at him but responded with "hoover, on, plug it in" this is typical of his response when people talk to him. He also does not look people in the eye or even pay much attention when they call his name if he doesn't want to.
I used to say to myself that he is intelligent and needed stimulation but I am getting a little worried now and even my Parents are saying that he has behaviour issues......... sorry for the long post but any ideas would be welcomed

[dara]

Talk to your HV. Has he had his two year check yet? Does he share things with you - ie bring toys and books for you to look at? Does he point out things of interest?

[handlemecarefully]

I think a lot of 2 year olds have 'behaviour issues'. How are you addressing the undesirable aspects of his behaviour (like chucking toys around the room)?

[Mummy2TandF]

dara - the HV said that they don't do a 2 year check anymore so I will have to contact her if I need to see someone. Yes ds does point out things of interest and he brings things to me all the time (like cups of tea, or some food he has cooked) he is also good with imaginative play and pretends to be on the phone etc. His mind just seems to work at 100 miles an hour and when you speak to him it is hit and miss whether he will converse or just say random words like hoover etc.
handlemecarefully - I have tried all methods to discourage the toy throwing, I am now at the stage where I tell him to stop it once and if he still throws I move him to a chair to sit on and calm down - but when I get down to look him in the eye to explain what he has done he won't look at me, so I don't really know if he is listening to me ..... oh - I don't know what to do.
Thanks for your responses

[staceym11]

oh mummytotandf, other than the communication you're ds and my dd could be clones!!

she too throws in temper (which shes never done before) but she knows her naughty place (behind the sofa) and all generally have to do is ask her if she wants to go there, she says no and i tell her to stop what shes doing and it usually works, touch wood.

as for 2 year check, dd still gets one here (in surrey) so id ask your hv if its possible to do one as you have concerns. id be slightly worried if dd didnt seem to respond to me or listen when her names called, although this does happen on occasion when she knows im going to say something she wont like (stop doign what shes doing for example) so she just ignors, maybe your little boy is just very headstrong and only wants to listen to and talk about what he wants!

[compo]

Hi Mummy2TandF - I think it is appalling that your health authority no longer do a 2 year check. Is it because they do one at a later stage? If not I would consider writing to someone higher up and asking why this is the case. You could quote all the places where there are still routine checks

[handlemecarefully]

Try toy confiscation then .... warn him that if he throws a toy it will be taken away and he won't get it back until after lunch / after tea/ tomorrow morning..(whatever appropriate timescale you want to insert).

Whilst he may not be articulating much at 2 yrs 1 month I am sure that his comprehension is just fine - so he should understand this...and after following through and confiscating the toy a few times you might find his behaviour improves. He will scream the house down in indignation the first few times though - you'll just have to grit your teeth and stick to your guns.