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Behaviour/development

Suddenly hates nursery?

8 replies

Misty9 · 22/11/2015 23:29

4yo ds has been going to the same nursery for two years. He took a long time to settle but has been fine for ages. Until a couple of weeks ago. He now cries every morning of nursery (goes 2 mornings and one full day) and tonight said he doesn't like nursery when I brought it up before bed (description of the next day type thing). Dh and I don't know what to do. He starts school next year so part of me thinks he needs to get used to it. But there have been lots of staff changes and they're currently only coping with agency staff and don't seem to do a lot beyond running wild in the preschool room (often only one staff member) so we have been concerned about that. Nursery don't know why he might be upset and have noticed.

Any ideas? My contract finishes in the new year so I could technically take him out... but it may not be good for him or me!

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defineme · 22/11/2015 23:34

What does he say is the problem? I would take him out tbh. I took my dtwins out for the last term of preschool simply to enjoy those last months before I started back to work and they started school.

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Misty9 · 22/11/2015 23:38

He says he doesn't know (his response to anything behaviour related). I was thinking that about taking him out but I also know he can drive me up the wall very quickly!

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elephantoverthehill · 22/11/2015 23:48

I've posted about this before. My very confident DS had gone to a number of different CC providers. He created merry hell at one nursery and I thought it was just about absence anxiety. I found a bite mark on his arm and spoke to the nursery about it. They explained it away as a child biting him. I knew it was not a child's bite mark. I removed DC straight away. A colleague who also used the nursery told me it closed down very shortly after. I wish I had gone with gut instinct.

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Misty9 · 22/11/2015 23:55

Good grief elephant - do you mean an adult bit him?! That's awful!

I'm tempted to look for somewhere else, but it'd only be until the summer and he's not a very adaptable child at all. Dd is there too and settled well in the baby room, b it the staffing has been more consistent there. I don't know :(

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elephantoverthehill · 23/11/2015 00:09

Misty i'm sorry I don't want to make you unnecessarily anxious. It was 16 or so years ago. But I think parent's instinct is very important with little ones.

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Misty9 · 23/11/2015 10:16

Don't worry, I'm ok :)
Well, last night was awful - he cried on and off all night even when in our bed, and the only sense we could get out of him was he didn't want to go to nursery....then skipped off there without a tear this morning! Can children have bi polar disorder....?!

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Cheesecrumpets01 · 23/11/2015 11:25

Can you keep trying to ask about what happens? I only say this because we have had exactly the same happen with our DD who is 3. She has been at the same nursery since I went back to work at 8 months old. She always loved it and in the last year or so, she literally ran into the nursery, found her teacher for a cuddle or her friends and off she went, often without even a wave bye bye or a cuddle. Then she moved up to the pre school room and didn't settle, she cried, clung on to me, would worry about it when we were at home, didn't want to get her uniform on to go etc. After many questions and conversations we found out a few older children (whilst running wild in a open free flow pre school room, often with one teacher) she was being hit and pushed away by a specific child. I have just posted about it in this forum. It didn't set her up for a good start within the room and is now anxious about it every morning. The hitting etc isn't as bad as it was infact it seems to be more verbal now, but still isn't nice. Could it be something simelar with yours? Must be really daunting for them to go from a cosy room with little children and a few staff to the wild chaos that a pre school room can be?

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Misty9 · 23/11/2015 19:02

We keep asking him but it's no good. Picked him up this afternoon and he was pretty subdued they said but nothing mentioned about crying. He's been in that room for over a year, and is the oldest there I think, so we don't think it's the room necessarily. There aren't many kids at the moment as most went to school in September, but his main little friends are still going. He was in tears again at home this afternoon :( fingers crossed for a settled night.