Aibu to buy DS some girl pants?

(77 Posts)

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Crumpet1 Tue 10-Nov-15 09:37:53

DS is 5 years old, a happy little boy but does have some suspected special needs. For over a year now he has asked for girl pants, steals my pink pants and has also stolen tights and pants from family and friends at school. I've avoided buying any for him to own because his dad is quite against it and I wasn't sure if it was just a phase that would pass, but now I'm thinking he's going to get caught stealing one day so if I buy him some it might stop him stealing.
I'm just not sure. I always thought I'd be totally cool about this sort of thing but to be honest I'm worried about what other people would say if they found out. The boys in his class would rip him to shreds.

So wwyd?

lljkk Tue 10-Nov-15 09:40:36

Why pants? Does he want only pants & no other girlie clothes?
I've plenty of pictures of DS's in pretty dresses, but they never showed interest in pants.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Tue 10-Nov-15 09:41:37

I would buy him girls pants, it is really no big deal at all. You are making it into an issue, and it really isn't.

thelittleredhen Tue 10-Nov-15 09:41:37

FFS sake, they're pants - I'd buy them, what's the worst that can happen?

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Tue 10-Nov-15 09:44:56

Buy him the pants, but only on the understanding he must NOT wear them into school - sadly, he will be ripped to shreds if he does. I don't think that's right, of course, but it will happen. My DS was teased mercilessly for still wearing 'pants' when everyone else had graduated to boxers.

Crumpet1 Tue 10-Nov-15 09:45:22

You don't need to swear at me, I'm only asking a question! Is it not ok to think about something before you do it or ask for others opinions?
He's not fussed about clothes, just got an obsession with pants. I haven't made a big deal of it with him or anyone else, obviously told him about stealing but not about it being girls stuff.

corgiology Tue 10-Nov-15 09:46:05

If he is already stealing pants from friends at school then it won't be a massive surprise to them. Could you buy white ones which are more discrete?

Keeptrudging Tue 10-Nov-15 09:46:17

Please don't. It won't help the situation, and he will be teased, possibly for the rest of his school days. I know on mumsnet there are lots of boys in tutus etc, but in the rest of the world a little boy wearing girl pants will get tormented. I would go down the line of 'stealing is naughty' full-stop, with clear sanctions for it. What he is stealing is not the issue. It is that he is repeatedly stealing.

Crumpet1 Tue 10-Nov-15 09:46:49

Yes that's what I'm worried about Lonny. I don't want him to start talking about them to his friends only for him to be bullied about it. I'm not sure how to talk to him about it without making it sound like its a bad thing to want to wear them.

thelittleredhen Tue 10-Nov-15 09:48:00

Sorry, I just don't see it as an issue.
There are girls pants that aren't bright pink

BarbarianMum Tue 10-Nov-15 09:52:52

Does he want girl's pants because they are pink? Ds2 did - our solution was pink boxer shorts. If it is because of the style, or the choice of characters I'd go with it but keep them for weekends and holidays. Ds2 sadly learnt to keep his beloved pink boxers for weekends because of teasing.

thelittleredhen Tue 10-Nov-15 09:53:59

Have you had a chat about why he wants girls pants/tights?

Only1scoop Tue 10-Nov-15 09:56:12

I'd have a chat about the 'stealing'

scatterthenuns Tue 10-Nov-15 09:58:58

The stealing is your problem, not the colour of his pants.

AlwaysHope1 Tue 10-Nov-15 10:00:50

Surely the stealing is the problem here??

Sparklingbrook Tue 10-Nov-15 10:01:41

I have to agree with scatter and Only.

Etak15 Tue 10-Nov-15 10:03:16

How about a compromise in next I've seen men's pants/boxers etc in neon colours, see if they do a kids version of them?

Nataleejah Tue 10-Nov-15 10:04:59

If he's so desperate, maybe get him some. But no way to school.

Minisoksmakehardwork Tue 10-Nov-15 10:08:36

The stealing aside - because it is a separate issue and needs to be dealt with, if you can't get pants/briefs/trunks - whatever style he wants to wear - in pink, buy white and dye them with Dylon. They do a really deep flamingo pink which should be acceptable. I'd not buy girls simply because they are styled differently. Obviously if it's the bows and frills he wants as well as the colour, probably size up for room.

Notso Tue 10-Nov-15 10:11:01

DS3 aged 3 sometimes wears girls pants to school. He loves Peppa pig and unfortunately boys pants only have George Pig on. DS doesn't like George as he is a cry baby so he has Peppa pants. So far nobody has said anything.

Branleuse Tue 10-Nov-15 10:12:21

If hes five and at school, id tread carefully. I would probably start myself wearing much plainer, less frilly, less covetable underwear, and id buy him a pack that was similar and more unisex, and a pack of exciting looking boys pants. My ds has pants that have pink stripes.
I think theres nothing wrong with experimenting, but if he doesnt understand the social implications of a boy wearing girls underwear to school, then he will be putting himself at risk of never living it down at school. He will not be the one to change the sexist mysoginistic culture at schools. He will only become a target

Senpai Tue 10-Nov-15 10:16:46

Buying a child something so they don't steal is a bad move. There will be many things he wants in his lifetime, and he can't just take them.

I just has some long rambling paragraph writing before I twigged you're talking about underwear, not trousers. Yeah, you can't get him girl underwear. Can you get him some white boy briefs/boxers with black bands so they're not seen on the belt line and dye them pink?

Senpai Tue 10-Nov-15 10:18:34

Notso Yeah, but he's 3. Kids are too busy picking their nose at that age to care. A 5 year old would be ridiculed and a target for bullies until he left primary. a

AnchorDownDeepBreath Tue 10-Nov-15 10:21:30

Is it the style of pants that he likes, or the colour?

If it's the colour, you can get male boxers in pinks/purples/turquoise etc in places like River Island, so I'd imagine you must be able to get tiny boy pants in the same colours.

If it's the style, could you get girls pants that are the right cut but neutral colours?

Or just try getting him some really cool pants, superheroes or cars or a TV show he loves or something. Make his pants seem much cooler than yours.

lljkk Tue 10-Nov-15 10:23:15

By yr3 even wearing white pants (rather than boxer) was enough for some boys to accuse my DS wearing girl's pants. DS stood his ground & still wears briefs (quite unusual in high school).

I think I'd want to explore why pants, and not other girlie / pretty / cuddly things. What is the attraction.

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