Ok, so what do you do in the inbetweeny months?

[Chloewhitechristmas]

Ds is nearly 10mth old and he is going through a really cheeky spell as if he is trying to push me - can this be possible so young! Basically, there are a few places in my house/mums house that ds isn't allowed - eg the fireplace at mine and the table with the ornaments at mums. From about 6mth old we have told ds not to go near them when he has headed in that direction and getting down on his level and firmly telling him no has always stopped him in his tracks. This has always worked well up until about a week ago where he has now decided to get blinkers on and shut off all sound and do what he wants.

TBH I sometimes really have to hold back a chuckle because he cruises over to these areas, looks back at me to see if I am watching - I'll either shake my head or say no and then he just defies me and goes full-on into whatever he is not allowed to do. If I get down on his level and tell him that he shouldn't touch blah blah for whatever reason then he just smiles at me and does it again!

Now, no doubt some of you will probably say he is too young or whatever but he understood right from wrong a couple of months ago, he understands it now but doesn't care to listen. He's too young for the naughty step/corner and he wouldn't understand me taking away a toy so what the hell do you do in these few months when they choose not to listen? Has anyone got any tips?

I am not an ogre who wants a perfect child but I worry that if he has decided to ignore me now then what hope have I got when he is 2/3.....16!!! (Not that any 16yr old listens to their parents ) I'm sure you know what I mean though.

[Chloewhitechristmas]

Oh and he has started biting, me, the chair, other babies.....etc.

[wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons]

If he heads over to the fire/table etc I would say a firm "no" and pick him up and sit him down on his bottom away from that area of the room. Then give it a few seconds and attempt to distract him with a toy or something.

I would do the same with the biting but not with the attempting to distract. So if he bites you, say "no biting" and sit him down on the floor a little way from you.

[wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons]

Oh and be patient.

[HumphreyCushiONtheFirstNoel]

Repeat, repeat, repeat!
Reinforce, reinforce, reinforce!
Pick him up and remove him from the area that you don't want him to be in, and distract him with something else.
(And don't let him see you laughing at him! )
He's very little, and you need to be consistent - over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over......

[Twiglett]

PMSL .. would this be your first child?

[JackieNoHoHo]

I think it's just a case of keep saying no, keep moving him away, trying to distract him, over and over and over again, I'm afraid! He is testing the limits, and he needs you to be consistent about them, so he can work out what they are. It's a bit wearing, but he'll ge there in the end.

[bluejelly]

He's testing the boundaries
I would just steer him away and distract him
He's too young to be 'punished' or expected to follow instructions
Distraction reallly is the key

[Chloewhitechristmas]

Thanks for the advice Bozza. I worry that he might bite one of the kids at nursery, bloody hurts aswell!

[Twiglett]

re fireplace .. get a fireguard

re table with ornaments .. move the ornaments or shut the door and don't let him in the room



or steel yourself for a couple of years of saying no and removing him / distracting him

[Chloewhitechristmas]

Thanks everyone - I knew someone would make that comment Twiglett - shows doesn't it?!

I watched House of Tiny Tearaways last night and the mum and dad put their daughter back to bed over 200 times in the space of 2 hours, I guess I have all this to look forward to

[Twiglett]

I saw that too ... and fortunately for you you're not as big a numpty as they were ... you already know that these things don't just happen .. they sneak up on you whilst you're thinking 'oh its ok, just this once/twice' ... FGS that child was 4 years old and had never learned to fall asleep on their own .. poor little girl

must admit I did snigger a little when the counter got to 172

[Chloewhitechristmas]

Now you see that would make sense Twiglett but I also don't want to resign myself to a life of not being able to go to friends houses for fear of them not being child friendly. I have gone 4 months without ds touching the fireplace just by the word of no once in a bluemoon, just hoping to get that autority back.

[Chloewhitechristmas]

Now you sniggered, I cried! Just thinking, shit, I don't have that much patience You are right though, fingers crossed we will never get to that point.

[wrappingpaperBOwZZAndribbons]

Personally I think you are going about it in the right way but it will take time. And yes, try not to end up with a 4yo who gets up 200 times.

[dara]

If your child never went ahead and touched anything or reached for things there would probably be something quite seriously wrong with him. He's normal. Babies have to explore their surroundings just like they have to babble - it's how they learn, by experience. They watch your face for a reaction because that's part of the learning process. Yes, distract them and certainly remove them from anything dangerous (of course) but this is really far, far too young to think of punishing (and actually they aren't being 'naughty' they are learning about the world). For really undesirable behaviour like biting a bit of ignoring can work wonders.

[dara]

Twiglett is so right about making your house a safe, easy place for small children to be in. With friend's houses, you just have to be more vigilant and say things like, 'oooh, he'd love to play with that fragile collection of china knick-knacks...I'll just pop them on that high shelf a minute'.

[bluejelly]

Avoid friends with houses with white carpets/cream sofas I reckon, at least for a bit! I always met a very good friend in a cafe rather than at her house cos her house was all designer neutrals and glass knick knacks